No Projection, No Perception

Jesus told Helen and Bill, while they were scribing A Course in Miracles, that they needed to let themselves know how much they hated each other in order to find the Love beyond that hatred.*  Finding the Love within us is an undoing project.  Undoing is accomplished by looking within with the Holy Spirit.

When we dare to look within ourselves, we discover everything we’ve been covering up and that can be painful, mortifying, and even intolerable.  Yet, somehow, we must look, because if we don’t, we are doomed to unconsciously choosing the ego as our teacher for a very, very, very long time.

Many feelings will arise, and they must be felt; not to indulge them, but to observe and release them.  When you discover that feelings move through you, are impermanent and impersonal, you will also discover that feelings are not facts.  The only fact is that God is formless Love, and this formless Love is the real You.

“Projection makes perception, and you cannot see beyond it.  Again and again have you attacked your brother, because you saw in him a shadow figure in your private world.  And thus it is you must attack yourself first, for what you attack is not in others.  Its only reality is in your own mind, and by attacking others you are literally attacking what is not there.” (T-13.V.3:5-8)

Seeing shadow figures only happens in the ego’s dream.  God’s Mind is Light and there are no shadows Here.  The ego casts shadows when it tries to cloak its true identity in darkness.  First, we lash out at God–that is the initial ego attack.  Then, the ego pulls a fast one and shouts that it was God who struck first!  This is the beginning of how the human personality works.

We lash out at our parents, our siblings, our spouses, our children, our pets, and the people around us.  Depending on your personality, you lash out overtly, covertly, or some combination of both.  You may find it acceptable to shout, curse, and weep when you’re alone at home, in the privacy of your car, or some other safe place.  You may prefer suppression and the silent treatment.  Either way, you are trapped within the personality.  In the Course, Jesus explains that there are only two emotions, love or fear.  Extension is how God’s Mind works–joining us forever in creating Love.  Projection is the splitting mechanism that distorts extension and leads to perception and fear.

“Behold the great projection, but look on it with the decision that it must be healed, and not with fear.  Nothing you made has any power over you unless you still would be apart from your Creator, and with a will opposed to His.” (T-22.II.10:1-2)

Find out what you are withholding.  Don’t act out your unconscious feelings by leaking or exploding them onto others, or repressing them and imploding within yourself.  Instead, admit to yourself with God** as your witness what you are really thinking and feeling!  This is the undoing process.  This clarifies the statement, “Projection makes perception.”  This is how you bust the ego and remove your self-imposed handcuffs.

Noticing the perceiving process leads you back to the perceiver.  This perceiver is the choosing point in the Mind, before it chose the ego and its dream of separation.  This perceiver can choose again, and with the Holy Spirit’s guidance it does choose again.  The Holy Spirit replaces ego perception with true perception–the reflection of God’s Love to help you awaken to your true Identity while you believe you are still a body in the world.

The choice for the Holy Spirit is the choice to stop projecting.  The choice to stop projecting removes the obstacles to the awareness of Love’s presence.  Rest assured that “Ideas leave not their source, and their effects [bodies] but seem to be apart from them.  Ideas are of the mind.  What is projected out, and seems to be external to the mind, is not outside at all, but an effect of what is in, and has not left its source.” (T-26.VII.4:7-9)  It is impossible for the unified Oneness of God’s Mind to separate from Itself.

“Forgiveness takes away what stands between your brother and yourself.  It is the wish that you be joined with him, and not apart. … Although [forgiveness] falls far short of giving you your full inheritance, it does remove the obstacles that you have placed between the Heaven where you are, and recognition of where and what you are.  Facts are unchanged.  Yet facts can be denied and thus unknown, though they were known before they were denied.” (T-26.VII.9:1-2; 5-7)

* Ken Wapnick mentions this on one (or more) of his audio recordings–sorry, but I don’t remember which one.

** Jesus, Holy Spirit, God, Buddha–use any Name you like. Just make sure to look with Spirit and not with the ego.  You will know the difference because there will be non-judgment, neutrality, perhaps relief, a healthy sense of detachment and the freedom that comes with it.

If you enjoyed this piece, watch Projection Makes Perception for further insight into this ACIM principle.

Copyright © 2013 Amy Torres.  All rights reserved worldwide.

This Is the Best Moment of Your Life

You may be surprised to hear it, but right now, no matter how you are feeling, whatever your circumstances, this very moment is the best moment of your life.  For me, this understanding began at the level of my personal self and, at some point, uncovered a timeless revelation.

I believe it was Louise Hay who taught me to approach every day as the best day of my life. She understood that whether the ego deemed it a “good” day or a “bad” day, every day could be considered the “best” day if I was willing to open my mind and not judge anything. At some point, spontaneously, I realized every moment is the best moment, when there is no interpretation.

sunset deep purple pinkIt was so liberating, empowering, and relaxing to choose to appreciate in any given moment that “this is the best moment of my life.” For the obvious moments, like watching a sunset, the beauty of the moment was enhanced. For the less obvious moments, like sickness of a loved one, a quiet strength and unexpected calm emerged in me, transforming the atmosphere with shining, unspoken, Love.

“This is the best moment of my life”* became a touchstone.  Sitting with a cat purring in my lap, listening to my lover read to me, feeling the breeze on my skin, catching the aroma of gardenias in my garden, hearing the cricket symphony after the rain – each of these “best moments” were heightened and intensified as I tuned in to their golden quality as they were happening.

And then there was the sweet sound of people who trusted me crying on my shoulder, releasing the grief and sorrow of their lives, sharing their fears, anxiety, and even panic; telling me of their despair, of the heavy depression they dragged around each day.  They gave me their loneliness, their sense of being ostracized, persecuted, abused and ignored.  Some felt invisible, disposable, insignificant.  Others hated themselves, believed they deserved punishment, were worthless.  Each of these holy encounters I deemed “the best moment of my life.”  My willingness to join with the Holy Spirit made their holiness obvious.  Eventually it was realized that the little “me” was a dream figure and not the one experiencing the “best moment.”

The Holy Spirit helps us look from above the battleground** and the view from there is exalted.  Below, in the dreaming mind, puppets seem to act out senseless roles in a drama of death and destruction, betrayal and revenge.  They believe in a fantasy that has no truth in it at all.  Seeing from above is the best moment of your life — what A Course in Miracles calls the holy instant.  And this view is always available – to all of us, as Spirit!

You can never have this moment alone, because you must be in holy relationship with Spirit in order to recognize that you are as God created you – Formlessly One with Him always.  Your True Self is simply an extension of that Formless One called God.  Claim every moment as the best moment of your life by choosing to be in holy relationship with the Holy Spirit.

The willingness to admit we know nothing, and the willingness to release all judgment, gives every moment the openness to funnel Love from Love’s Source.  Being a vessel for Love makes obvious that we are that very Love.  “Behold the great projection,” says Jesus in A Course in Miracles.  Behold it in order to release the mind from its grip.  The ego is just a tiny idea in a conscious mind that has the power to choose again.  So choose again and discover your true Self.

Abide In Your Smile magnet

* A Course in Miracles uses the term “holy instant” to describe what spontaneously came to me as “the best moment” … more on the holy instant can be found in Webinar 9: The Holy Relationship (holy instants and holy encounters).

** “The lovely light of your relationship [with the Holy Spirit] is like the Love of God.  It cannot yet assume the holy function God gave His Son, for your forgiveness of your brother is not complete as yet, and so it cannot be extended to all creation.  Each form of murder and attack that still attracts you and that you do not recognize for what it is, limits the healing and the miracles you have the power to extend to all.  Yet does the Holy Spirit understand how to increase your little gifts and make them mighty.  Also He understands how your relationship is raised above the battleground, in it no more.  This is your part; to realize that murder in any form is not your will.  The overlooking of the battleground is now your purpose.  Be lifted up, and from a higher place look down upon it.  From there will your perspective be quite different.”  (T-23.IV.4:1-7; 5:1-2)

You might also enjoy reading Gatita Sparkles, Gatita’s Metamorphosis Into The Lady, and A Better Way to Say “I Miss You”.

Copyright © 2013 Amy Torres.  All rights reserved worldwide.

 

Eschaton by Oscar Senn

The end of the world, at the close of the day,
  comes not as holocaust, but a soft melting away

of terrors, and errors, and mad masquerades,
so that who we seem changes as the nightmare fades.

The heart sounds the trumpet and light is reborn
to show us our shadows are all we must mourn,

that this solid seeming we clung to so dear
was but a phantasm disguising our fear.

All physical senses that we humans cherish
burn away in the truth, where only lies perish.

And when we awaken in that last day’s last phase
we’ll blaze there like novae in endless arrays.

In the blink of an instant we’ll know as we’re known
and love will enfold another orphan come home.

At last we’ll prove what creations we are
a singular miracle outshining all stars.

And when we’ve remembered, and illusions have gone,
We’ll all wake eternal in one endless dawn.

Eschaton is a fancy word for “end of the world”

Thank you, Oscar Senn, for your beautiful poem.

How to Deal with Your Worst Moments, Especially When They Seem to Go On Forever

What makes a “worst moment”?  It boils down to pain.  Pain can be physical (sensation), emotional (loss, helplessness, despair), or psychological (fear).  Much more common than a “worst moment” is the dread of a worst moment.  I call this “futurizing.”

When pain is unbearable we pass out (literally black out, go unconscious) or check out (this ranges from not hearing people talking to us to having a psychotic break — losing touch with worldly reality).  This level of pain is rare, and this reaction is relatively rare.  When you relentlessly worry about and imagine upcoming pain, you’re futurizing.  You’re not living – you’re holding your breath, walking on eggshells, and dreading what the future will bring even though it is highly unlikely.

“The worst thing you’ll ever have to face in life is a thought, a sensation, a feeling, a sound, a smell, happening in THIS moment,” says spiritual teacher Jeff  Foster.

When you actually take a look at your pain, rather than avoid it or try to deaden it, pain breaks out into thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds, smells, tastes, sights–anything the five senses have to offer.

Is your pain unbearable right now?  If it was, you couldn’t be reading this essay.

Moment by moment, pain, be it physical, emotional, or psychological, is not only bearable, but potentially the moment when your perception shifts and you realize what seemed to be “the worst” was actually the opening you had been waiting for.

Peace comes when you realize that you’ve been making yourself god by taking your fears seriously.  Fears that the pain you have now will never stop, fears that you’ll never meet someone and have a family, fears that you’ll never get a good job (or you’ll lose the job you have), fears that you won’t be able to pay the bills, fears that you’ll never realize your potential, fears that your health will fail and you won’t be able to take care of yourself and those you love, fears that you’ll be at the mercy of unkind people, or people who are incompetent, fears that you can’t overcome your addictions.  Fears, fears, fears.  It’s best to get well-acquainted with your own, so that you can stop futurizing and choose to enter the present moment.

This moment, now, is where peace is.

There’s an opening, a holy instant, where time dissolves into timelessness, and the “you” you thought you were melts away.  Here lies freedom.  And this moment is available right now.  Feel it?  There’s no time like the present to recognize what you really are.  Turn your attention to Truth.  You don’t have to know how.  You don’t have to do anything.  Just stop playing god, and instead, “… spend a quiet moment opening your mind to His correction, and His love”* now.

You may also find The Challenge of Physical Pain and Disability a useful read.

*A Course in Miracles, Workbook for Students, Lesson 126

Copyright © 2013 Amy Torres.  All rights reserved worldwide.

Ask Amy: How Does God Know What’s Best for Us If He Doesn’t Even Know We’re Here?

Guy QuestionQ:  I think I’m having a little crisis.  How does God know what is best for us if he doesn’t even know we are here?  How can I have trust/faith with this notion?  Another ACIM teacher told me “But the Holy Spirit knows you are here.”  What do you think, Amy?

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERAA:  It is true that A Course in Miracles explains that God doesn’t know we’re here.  Many ACIM students find this scary and even devastating.  It begins to make sense, and actually feel comforting and liberating, when we realize that God doesn’t know we’re “here” because we’re not “here” — we’re with Him in Heaven.

Heaven is a metaphor for being eternally alive and unified in the formless Mind of God.  We are God’s Creation, and we are always joined together in a Limitless Life of Creating and Being Love.

Remember, the metaphysics of the Course teach us that this world, our bodies and belief that we are separate people with personal lives is only a dream!  Once we accept that we are dreaming (and, in fact, that we are the dreamer of this dream) then it makes sense that God doesn’t know we’re here because we’ve never left Him.  Just because we dream that we have separated from the Wholeness of His Mind, doesn’t make it so.

“You are at home in God, dreaming of exile but perfectly capable of awakening to reality.  Is it your decision to do so?” (T-10.I.2:1)

God’s Holy Spirit lives within us as a memory of our True Self.  The Holy Spirit can be visualized as Light, like a lighthouse illuminating the way Home.  When we decide to awaken to reality, we feel motivated to look towards the Holy Spirit’s Light more and more.  Following His Loving guidance strengthens our trust and faith.

Lesson 26 puts it like this, “My home awaits me.  I will hasten there.  If I so choose, I can depart this world entirely.  It is not death which makes this possible, but it is change of mind about the purpose of the world.  If I believe it has a value as I see it now, so will it still remain for me.  But if I see no value in the world as I behold it, nothing that I want to keep as mine or search for as a goal, it will depart from me.  For I have not sought for illusions to replace the truth.

Father, my home awaits my glad return.  Your Arms are open and I hear Your Voice.  What need have I to linger in a place of vain desires and of shattered dreams, when Heaven can so easily be mine?”

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the July-Aug 2013 issue of Miracles magazine.  Miracles is a well-loved  staple in the ACIM community.  To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089.  To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Special Relationships

blue hands“Everyone on earth has formed special relationships, and although this is not so in Heaven, the Holy Spirit knows how to bring a touch of Heaven to them here.” (T-15.V.8:1)

A Course in Miracles students are often very afraid that their special relationships will be torn from them if they put ACIM principles into practice.  Or they mistakenly believe they are supposed to stop having special relationships and, finding this impossible, beat themselves up for continuing to relate to certain people in their lives as special and more important than others.  Rest assured that Jesus will neither tear away your special relationships, nor expect you to give them up.  All he asks is that we give our belief in special relationships to the Holy Spirit.

“Bring, then, all forms of suffering to Him Who knows that every one is like the rest.  He sees no differences where none exists, and He will teach you how each one is caused.” (T-27.VIII.12:1-2)

When we unconsciously believe in specialness, which is the source of the “life” we lead, we project that belief outward, and are convinced there are people in a world ruled by a cruel ego-god.  Even if we have a poor opinion of ourselves, even if we are atheists, even if we are obviously the innocent victims of other people’s viciousness, we are still unconsciously subscribing to the tiny, mad idea that we are special–different from God and from our brothers.

“Specialness is the idea of sin* made real.”  (T-24.II.3:1)

orb web spider eating its webWe start on the personal level, looking within the ego self we think we are, working with what seems to be our individual sense of sin and guilt (even if it seems the “other guy” is guilty–not us).  Little by little, as we learn to practice forgiveness, and clear the guilt from our personal relationships, we discover there is nothing personal to forgive.  First it seems as though we draw our projections back into our personal selves, like a spider devouring its own web.  This leads to a miraculous shift in perception and we realize that “I” is one ego mind, all-inclusive of every single brother in the whole wide world.

“And you will understand that miracles reflect this simple statement, ‘I have done this thing, and it is this I would undo.’” (T-27.VIII.11:6)

This “I” is the original thought of separation itself–what we now call “ego.”  The “undoing” is a  change of mind from believing in specialness (that we could leave God’s Mind to be “my self”) to a gentle laugh at the absurdity of such an impossible idea.  And here are all special relationships left behind, not with grief and mourning, but with joy and liberation from a false identity that bred only war, slaughter, and revenge.

“We had a wish that God would fail to have the Son whom He created for Himself.  We wanted God to change Himself, and be what we would make of Him.  And we believed that our insane desires were the truth.  Now we are glad that this is all undone, and we no longer think illusions true.  The memory of God is shimmering across the wide horizons of our minds.  A moment more, and it will rise again.  A moment more, and we who are God’s Sons are safely home, where He would have us be.” (W-pII.Intro.9:1-7)

heaven horizon

* “Sin” in A Course in Miracles means the belief in separation and serves the ego brilliantly in that the ego views sin as an unforgiveable crime to be punished. The Holy Spirit disarms the ego’s purpose for sin by reframing sin as a mistake, a mere error to be corrected and healed with unconditional Love.  Thus, we release the ego’s plan for salvation (sin, guilt and fear; kill or be killed) and embrace God’s plan for salvation instead (Sameness, Innocence and Unity; Love and Be Loved).

Copyright © 2013 Amy Torres.  All rights reserved worldwide.

I Want the Peace of God: Commentary on ACIM Review Lesson 205

I have updated and added to this blogpost which was originally written two years ago and is still potent today (you can read Lesson 205 at the bottom of this post).  I mention this because the “current events” mentioned below are now dated–but just fill in the blank. Remember, in addition to whoever you think is innocent, you must also include the “guilty”–this is the only way to correct errors in the mind and regain Peace and Innocence.  This is the only way to go Home.

It does not mean you are condoning bad behavior or cruelty.  As Jesus says in Chapter 6 of A Course in Miracles, “… you might remember that I was persecuted as the world judges, and did not share this evaluation for myself. … If you react as if you are persecuted, you are teaching persecution.  This is not a lesson a Son of God should want to teach if he is to realize his own salvation.”  In this same chapter, there is a section called, “The Message of the Crucifixion” which is simply, “Teach only love, for that is what you are.”  In section V. of that same chapter, we learn “The Lessons of the Holy Spirit,” which include three components.  The second one is “To have peace, teach peace to learn it.”

While I abide where I am not at home, my purpose is the peace of God.  How comforting to have a clear purpose and live in service of God’s Will.  How relaxing to have only one choice: to choose the peace of God in every situation, with every person.  My function and my life is to embrace the Christ … Christ meaning communion with my brothers … which surely leads to Union with  God.  Freedom is creating as God intended.  Christ is the co-creation we are and which we continue extending, joyfully, effortlessly, inevitably.

Dare I feel this inexplicably, predictably happy and expansive when the world is suffering?  Yes!  It is the only way to feel in order to lead by example:  All Is Well.  Dreams are not Reality.  We are not suffering bodies.  We are not suffering minds.  We are Free and Whole and Complete, Together as One.  Not-enslaved, not-partial, not-incomplete.  Not lonely, not afraid, not asleep.  We are Awake in the Stillness of Eternal Being.  That is the Truth.

Does this mean that my heart never aches?  Eventually, yes.  But for now my heart does ache, and I embrace the Truth simultaneously.  Right now, on a personal level, my heart aches for Amy Winehouse who died yesterday after a long struggle with drugs, alcohol, rehab and self-destructive impulses.  And on a global level, my heart aches for Norway and the unthinkable grief of so many after the bombing in Oslo and the massacre at the youth camp nearby.  My heart aches for the victims, the families and friends, the workers and volunteers dealing with the aftermath, and the attack suspect, Anders Behring Breivik.  Add Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman to the local list, and the Syrian civil war to the global list.

This list will never end, because the ego miscreated the world to constantly distract us from the real problem: that we are afraid of our Father, a Loving God whose very presence, if we become aware of It, will awaken us instantly to the fact that we are not bodies, we are free, for we are still as God created us.  We are Spirit.  We are formless Unity.  We are Loving Light.  To the ego this is death.  To our True Self, this is the end of our case of mistaken identity.  This is Life.

I allow that sadness to move through me and be released.  I send each and every one of them the Peace of God, with Jesus as my teacher, and feel emotional weather move through me as the conviction of my spiritual life reinforces that removing blocks to the awareness of Love’s Presence inevitably reveals Love.

LESSON 205

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.

(185)   I want the peace of God.

The peace of God is everything I want.  The peace of God is my one goal, the aim of all my living here, the end I seek, my purpose and my function and my life, while I abide where I am not at home.

I am not a body. I am free.
For I am still as God created me.

Forgiveness is Illusion that is Answer to the Rest

“Condemn and you are made a prisoner. Forgive and you are freed. Such is the law that rules perception. It is not a law that knowledge understands, for freedom is a part of knowledge. To condemn is thus impossible in truth. What seems to be its influence and its effects have not occurred at all. Yet must we deal with them a while as if they had. Illusion makes illusion. Except one. Forgiveness is illusion that is answer to the rest.” ~from Lesson 198: Only my condemnation injures me.

What does this passage from Lesson 198 mean?

A Course in Miracles is using the word “condemn” to mean that we have chosen to believe a tiny, mad idea that we could separate from God’s Mind. God’s Mind is our Home. We were born there, and we live there right now. It is possible to daydream nightmares in Heaven, and once upon a time we had a thought that we could leave the Formless, Changeless, Perfect, Abstract Mind of God and be God ourself.* It was an idea that couldn’t be taken seriously because that would be like wishing to be human while extracting our own DNA–not gonna happen.

Anway, we went ahead and “remembered not to laugh” as the Course puts it, and believed our fantasy that we had separated from God’s Mind. In order to talk ourselves into this idea of splitting off and being an autonomous god, we had to divorce ourself from Infinity and Eternity. So we made up space and time. This was simply to put God out of our mind … or, more accurately, to become mindless about the fact that we are forever one with God’s Mind.

We tried to forget God and His quality of Unified Oneness (which the Course also calls “knowledge”). We fooled ourself into thinking there was more than one of us. Remember, this is all a game of pretend: if you see it you believe it–if you didn’t know better, an airplane in the sky would seem to be the size of an ant, but that doesn’t make it so! We pretended we were a separate thought from God and projected images out of God’s Mind that seemed real. Then we started a game of war: if I oppose you, that proves there is someone out there, which also disproves the Oneness of God. What a grand distraction!

This sense of being separate from God is called “ego.” The ego came up with the delusional idea that we could fence God’s Oneness off within individual bodies–bodies with senses with which to perceive the world. The perceptions we have seem to be facts–we believe the world happens to us. The Course teaches us we are the dreamer of this illusory dream world.

The Holy Spirit is the memory of God within our minds which we can never lose, just as a human can’t be human without DNA. This memory is restored to us through forgiveness, which the Course defines as recognizing this world, our senses, and the belief that we are separate individuals, is actually a tiny, mad idea–a game of pretend. Since we are so convinced, the Holy Spirit meets us halfway and uses our dream to help us awaken to God’s Truth. Forgiveness uses the medium of illusion to undo our belief in illusion. Forgiveness is the only illusion, within our illusion, which leads to awakening and recognizing what we already are: God’s Child, safe at Home, never alone, always at One with Each Other.

Feel free to ask questions 🙂 Email me at [email protected].

* I use “ourself” rather than “ourselves” because there is only one ego mind which seems to be split into all of our individual personal selves–but that, too, is an illusion.

Suffering Is Optional by Christina Feldman

This article offers a helpful perspective to Course in Miracles’ students who are learning they are not the body, yet need to address physical pain during the process of dis-identifying with the ego. Christina Feldman has been teaching insight meditation retreats since 1976. This article is an excerpt from her book, Heart of Wisdom, Mind of Calm. Other books of hers include Compassion, Silence, and The Buddhist Path to Simplicity.

Aging, sickness, and moments of pain are intrinsic to the life of all of our bodies. Bodily pain comes in many guises—some of it is chronic, some temporary, some unavoidable. Our first response is to resist it. We have numerous strategies to ward pain off, to avoid it, or to camouflage it with distraction. Aversion, terror, and agitation interweave themselves with the experiences in our bodies and we are easily lost in dread and despair. Our bodies may even be seen as enemies, sabotaging our well-being and happiness. When we are enmeshed in this knot of fear and resistance, there is little space for healing or compassionate attention to occur.

And yet we can learn to touch discomfort and pain with an attention that is loving, accepting, and spacious. We can learn to befriend our bodies, even in the moments when they are most distressed and uncomfortable. We can discover that it is possible to release aversion and fear. With caring and curious attention, we can see that there is a difference between the sensations occurring in our bodies and the thoughts and emotions that react to those sensations. Instead of running from pain, we can bring a curious and caring attention into the heart of pain. In doing so, we discover that our well-being and inner balance are no longer sabotaged. Surrendering our resistance, we find that pain is no longer intimidating or unbearable.

No one would suggest that learning to work skillfully with pain is an easy task, however, or that meditation is a way to fix pain or make it go away. Sometimes we are overwhelmed and we can learn to accept this too. In moments when the intensity of pain seems unbearable it is fine to take our attention away from it and connect with a simpler focus of attention such as breathing or listening for a time. When our hearts and minds have calmed and feel more spacious, it is the right moment to return our attention to the areas of pain in the body.

There are also times when it is often possible to dissolve the layers of tension and fear that gather around pain and to embrace it with greater spaciousness and ease. We may even find a deep inner balance and serenity in the midst of pain. These are moments of great possibility and strength. Working with pain, learning to accept and embrace it, is a moment-to-moment practice in which we release helplessness, despair, and fear. This is in itself healing and teaches us the way to find peace and freedom within the changing events of our bodies.

Storytelling
When pain or distress arises in our bodies, our conditioned reaction is to pin it down and solidify it with concepts. We say “my knee,” “my back,” “my illness,” and the floodgates of apprehension are opened. We predict a dire future for ourselves, fear the intensification of the pain, and at times dissolve into helplessness and despair. Our concepts serve both to make the pain more rigid and to undermine our capacity to respond to it skillfully. We are caught in the tension of wanting to divorce ourselves from a distressed body while the intensity of pain keeps drawing us back into our body.

Meditation offers a very different way of responding to pain in our bodies. Instead of employing strategies to avoid it, we learn to investigate what is actually being experienced within our bodies calmly and curiously. We can bring a compassionate, accepting attention directly to the core of pain. This is the first step towards healing and releasing the agitation and dread that often intensify pain.

Turning our attention directly toward the distress or pain, we discover that the pain we had previously perceived as a solid mass of discomfort is in truth very different. Sensations are changing from moment to moment. And there are different textures within those sensations—tightness, heat, pressure, burning, stinging, aching… As we ask, “What is this?” the label “pain” becomes increasingly meaningless.

Within all pain and distress we discover there are two levels of experience. One is the simple actuality of the sensation, feeling, or pain, and the other is our story of fear that surrounds it. Letting go of the story, we are increasingly able to connect with the simple truth of the pain. We discover that it may be possible to find calm and peace even in the midst of distress.

Fear Factor
Pain in our body, particularly chronic and acute pain, has an inevitable emotional impact that can be equally debilitating. Blame, fear, self-condemnation, despair, anxiety, and terror can arise in the wake of physical illness and root themselves in our bodies, further hindering our capacity to heal and find ease. Our emotional reactions of fear and resistance often lodge themselves in our bodies alongside the pain, to the point where they are almost indistinguishable. Learning to notice the distinction between pain and our reaction to it, we begin to see that although the pain in our bodies may not be optional, some of the pain of our reactions is optional.

The natural desire to avoid pain is translated in our minds and hearts into turbulence and anxiety, and our sense of inner balance is swept away in the avalanche of those feelings. Even when we are fortunate in that our body recovers, without mindfulness the emotions associated with illness or pain linger much longer in our bodies and minds. We may begin to live in a fearful way, treating every unpleasant sensation as a messenger of doom, assuming it signals a return of the pain or illness. The damage we do to ourselves in ignoring the impact of our emotional reactions compounds our tendency to feel anxious and afraid.

There is a great art in learning to be present with pain, just as it is, in the moment when it arises. But with mindfulness, we can learn to make peace with pain. We can learn to be present one moment at a time and so liberate ourselves from the dread of what the next moment may bring. We can learn the kindness of acceptance rather than the harshness of denial.

This is an excerpt from Heart of Wisdom, Mind of Calm by Christina Feldman. Thank you, Christina, for this valuable and illuminating article!

Death Is Just A Belief

starlit skyAs a child, I felt terrified at the idea of death. No one had spoken with me about death, and no one close to me had died. Yet there was a picture in my mind of my body floating in an endless night sky, surrounded by stars, completely helpless, painfully alone, and frozen with terror.

This fear affected my entire early childhood. It was more important to play it safe, than learn to ride a bicycle, swim, or meet new friends. I was shy, and spent most of my time reading books. As I grew older, there was an uneasy feeling inside me that I was a coward. I admired people in stories I read, who would throw themselves in front of a bus to save another, and I sensed that I was not one of them.

It became crucial that I overcome my fear of death–but I no longer remembered that it was death of which I was afraid. I was now wrestling with the shame of calling myself a “coward.” This was my dirty little secret–I was yellow.cowardlylion

And cowardice infected my whole life. First, I was afraid of sports, then dogs, then water, then other kids, then summer camp, on and on. In order to feel safe, I had to withdraw from life. Safety came at a high price-loneliness and a great longing to play and participate; but instead I stayed in my room.

Although this was my plight as a child and young adult, paradoxically, I was not alone. Many people suffer from this kind of withdrawal. Lonely, terrified people are probably the majority of human beings. I found this out because eventually I went into psychotherapy–first as a client, and then when the therapy worked, as a professional. And I discovered that every client that walked through my door was lonely and terrified. Even when, externally, their lives appeared successful.

swirly omAs I faced my fear of death, spiritual wisdom came my way. Rather than comforting myself reading novels about lonely people, I started reading mystical literature. “If there is any death, it is that of death itself, for life will not die,” said the great Sufi teacher, Hazrat Inayat Khan. Such elegant logic. How can life die?

A Course in Miracles (ACIM) explains, “The ‘reality’ of death is firmly rooted in the belief that God’s Son is a body. And if God created bodies, death would indeed be real. But God would not be loving.” Again, impeccable logiclaverne-ross-while-adam-slept. If God is Loving, how could He create death? But what did “if God created bodies” mean? Where did bodies come from, if not God?

According to Advaita Vedanta, also known as non-dualism, this world and the bodies in it are an illusion, maya, the play of consciousness. As ACIM puts it, “What is seen in dreams seems to be very real. Yet the Bible says that a deep sleep fell upon Adam, and nowhere is there reference to his waking up.”

What? I read that over and over again, and then checked the Bible. I could not find a passage about Adam awakening. Could this all simply be, as the song goes, “Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.”?

dreaming aboriginalAustralian Aboriginals believe in “dreamtime,” an infinite spiritual belief about the time of creation. The “Dreaming” is eternal and life exists before a person is born and after the individual person ends.

Quantum physics has theories about non-linear and simultaneous time. There is no past and future. Time is a limited and limiting concept made up by humans. There cannot be death without the grim reaper, Father Time. Yet if God is understood as formless, infinite and eternal, there can be no death at all. It turns out death is just a belief.

“It is not you dying. It is what you are not that is dying. In fact, you are never going to die! Death is a myth. This body, you have to give it up. But you must come to know, while you have the body, that you are eternal,” says Mooji, a contemporary mystic, who teaches self-inquiry.

As I began to understand that I am not a body, and the reality that seems so real to all of us is merely a dream, the fear of death dissolved. The real me-and you–can never die. The spiritual Self in which we are all One prevails. This is the truth that Jesus said would set us free. This is the Truth that dissolves all fear, including the fear of death.om sky

Death Is Just A Belief is an essay in my ongoing series, How to Use the Body While You Think It’s You.  If you liked this, you may also enjoy “Gatita Sparkles,” “Gatita’s Metamorphosis,”Body Health Is Not a Measurement of Spiritual Unfolding,” “How to Take Yourself Less Personally”,Flossing and Feldenkrais,” and “I Am Not My Hair”     Also, be sure to watch Webinar #10, The Purpose of the Body on YouTube :)   And you may be interested in my Facebook page devoted to body issues: http://facebook.com/acimbodyimage

Copyright © 2013 Amy Torres.  All rights reserved worldwide.