How to Deflate an Extra-Strength Ego

Do you ever feel like you have an extra-strength ego? Let’s stick a pin in it!

Lots of people tell me that their ego is particularly strong and I have to laugh.  Let’s not give “your” ego that much credit — there is only one fear-based, guilt-inducing, headstrong ego.  Don’t worry, it is only your unconscious choice to believe in the ego that has made it seem so strong and unique to you.  But luckily, even extra-strength ego is a dream aspect of the Real You and You are actually the boss of it 🙂

The Real You is Spirit.  The ego “you” is a figment of Spirit’s imagination. Ego plays this game in which You forget what you truly are.  Until you realize this, you fully believe you are a person, and the world and the people in it seem very important.

Once you begin to grasp that you are not a person, your ego may very well kick up a fuss, impelling you to think, “My ego is particularly strong!”  Ego is an immensely powerful force when believed in, but it is also, as ACIM puts it, a “quaint absurdity” (W-156) when seen through.

Your life is best spent awakening from the ego fog of forgetfulness and discovering you are peaceful, joyous, loving, formless, timeless God Mind, as you’ve always been. The one ego mind, which has fragmented into shapes and forms called people, animals, vegetables, minerals, etc., is actually like a multiple personality disorder and schizophrenia combined: it is splitting into many personas, talking to itself and seeing what is not there (hallucinating).

Ego is not your true nature; it is an acquired taste. So, don’t take what seems to be “your” ego personally, because we are all just shapes and forms of the same ego. Visualize one ego thought of separation being blown, like air, into billions of balloons and you get the human population. Put a pin in it and extra-strength ego deflates instantly.

Extra-strength ego is just a more heavily armored “balloon” — thicker rubber, you might say.  When you attack another or yourself, you are just denying the Truth: that Unified Spiritual You is Perfect. When you are willing to see the good in your brother, his “body grows decreasingly persistent in your sight, and will at length be seen as little more than just a shadow circling round the good.” (T-31.VII.3:3)

As you lose your taste for extra-strength ego, you gain a taste for forgiveness.  Forgiveness is a well-lit path Home with a Constant Companion Who is well worth following.  This is Who Jesus followed, and you can too.  At first, it can seem difficult to discern the voice of the ego from the Voice for God, but with a little practice, the “irresistible attraction of love for love” (paraphrasing T-12.VIII) takes over (click here to read about the Irresistible Attraction of Love for Love).

For 33 specific, potent, and absolutely free tips to deflate the ego, click here.


Thinning Away Like the Heel of a Threadbare Sock

A God-given Message came to me about 15 years ago: “Amy is thinning away like the heel of a threadbare sock.”

I immediately understood this Message and knew it to be true, although it wasn’t easy to explain to someone else. Now feels like the right time to share how I came to be thinning away, and how you can do so, too.

It started with my anguish that my first marriage was not going well … in fact, it had reached a point where I knew I had to get out and I felt sick over it, as well as terrified of the reaction of my at-that-time husband. I was reading everything I could get my hands on about relationships, and discovered Bradshaw On: The Family. In it, the author, John Bradshaw, talked about “fair fighting.”

Fair fighting was a revolutionary concept to me, and yet was something I had always known although I did not have words for it. From there, many tools for and forms of compassionate communication were revealed to me and something that had been off track inside me clicked into place. I wanted to practice fair fighting, staying in the green zone, active listening, mirroring, and much more with my partner, my family, my friends, strangers, everyone.

After lots more reading, training as a Gestalt psychotherapist, and being initiated into a variety of spiritual paths, a synthesis of ideas took place within me and emerged as The Language of Love, Harmony & Beauty. “Love, harmony and beauty” is used in Sufi prayer, and is very similar to what A Course in Miracles calls, “the good, the beautiful and the holy.”

This synthesis gave me a stunning clarity as to how thinking, feeling, needing, wanting and sensing are used by the ego to keep us engaged in its airtight, yet insane, logic. I also received a method as to how to use thinking, feeling, needing, wanting and sensing for the Holy Spirit’s purpose, which ACIM calls right-mindedness and true perception.

At first, I was the guinea pig. No one else wanted to play with me. Almost everybody around me wanted to argue, manipulate, lie, remain in denial, stay unconscious, wallow in depression, self-medicate … or drug themselves with mantras and meditation, without taking a good look at themselves, choosing accountability and getting honest.

It was a very lonely, and very inspiring time in my life. I was thrown back on God and God, using the Language of Love, Harmony and Beauty, started thinning Amy away.

Let me know if you’re interested in hearing more about this … it feels to me like the best way to begin 2018, but I’d like to know if you’re listening … email me at

Click here for a free companion piece on what to do when you have an Extra-Strength Ego.

Giving Thanks to You!

Thank you for receiving my Light,
and reflecting this Light back to me.

thank you beach

“When a mind has only light,
it knows only light.

Its own radiance shines all around it,
and extends out into the darkness of other minds,
transforming them into majesty.

The Majesty of God is there,
for you to recognize and appreciate and know.

Recognizing the Majesty of God as your brother
is to accept your own inheritance.

God gives only equally.
If you recognize His gift in anyone,
you have acknowledged what He has given you.

Nothing is so easy to recognize as truth.
This is the recognition that is immediate, clear and natural.”

For me, every day is Thanksgiving.  I don’t equate giving thanks one day a year based on a very short-lived respite between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians at Plymouth Plantation in 1621 with real gratitude.

True thanks is the immediate, clear and natural response when your only purpose is choosing to see the Light in others, no matter what their personality or behavior.  Admittedly, for most of us, Thanksgiving does provide ample opportunities to practice applying this truth 😉

Let me know how seeing the Light in your brothers goes this holiday.  Email me at

To receive my free e-newsletter as a beacon of Light in your inbox, just put your contact info in the “Love and miracles are your essence. Want some?” box — above and to the right.

Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!



Amy purple coat starburst

Related essays: Is Thanksgiving Necessary?, Giving ThanksReceiving Is Giving, and Admitting I Felt Ungrateful Released Me

Ask Amy: Are You Spiritually Sponge-able?

Q: Can you explain more about how we need to use the body to undo our belief in the body?

A:  Spiritual sponge-ability is a whole new way of using your body.

Stay with me: sponges are porous and absorbent.  The spiritual law “giving is receiving” only works if you are also able to receive.

You must be able to sponge in God’s Love if you want a loving life.  Ask yourself:

  • Is your heart porous, in the sense that you’re able to receive and accept love?
  • Are your lungs porous? Are you able to inhale and exhale fully, enjoying the sensuality of your breath?
  • Are your muscles and interconnective tissue porous?  Can you feel energy humming and tingling through your torso?
  • Is your brain porous?  Is possible for you to allow your eyes to soften and melt back into your head, releasing your brain to float softly within your skull?

A Course in Miracles tells us, “…all sickness is mental illness….”*  So it is the mind which must be healed.  However, while you believe you are the body, Jesus advises that you ask the Holy Spirit to use the body for Her** divine purpose. This choice is crucial to your happiness, peace of mind, and ongoing sense of well being.

Up until now, you have probably been experiencing your body as flesh and blood — dense, contracted, possibly pain-riddled, and almost always not looking as good as you would like. You physically experience guilty feelings, heartache and body tension (often in the form of headaches and upper body pain such as TMJ, neck and shoulder tension, etc).

Probably no one has told you what the body feels like when it is free of excess tension, and is a free-flowing extension of God’s Will.  What does this mean?  When you allow the Holy Spirit to use the body for Her purpose you become a conduit for miracles. In other words, your body is experienced as an energetic transmitter of Loving Light.  God’s wisdom (you could say “good vibrations” or “energy”) runs through your body using it like a clear instrument. Your body becomes a hollow flute for God to play with His Fingers.

If you are sponge-able, you allow yourself to receive God’s formless, timeless Love, and then you effortlessly give that Love through your natural radiance.

If you are not sponge-able, you can give, give, give to the people around you and it’s still ego-driven. Giving without sponge-ability (the ability to receive) is just another form of ego control.

Sponge-ability connects your will with God’s Will.  You are illuminated with His Great Light, absorbing and squeezing out (to stick with our sponge metaphor) the radiant Great Rays that Great Light creates.


*ACIM supplement: Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice.

**I’m using the Divine Feminine to refer to the Holy Spirit, as modeled in the Hebrew version of ACIM (read Shekinah, Divine Feminine and the Holy Spirit).

Check out my series: How to Use the Body While You Think It’s You and

Ask Amy: I Don’t Want to Reincarnate

Q: I think it’s likely that I will reincarnate because I have a lot of baggage and don’t see it getting all sorted out in this lifetime. Can you help me deal with the fear I have that I will reincarnate? I don’t want to come back here again, it’s been so painful and difficult.

A: There’s a parable called, “How Many Lifetimes Will It Take?”

Briefly paraphrased, in reply to a veteran meditator’s question as to how many lifetimes he has left before Enlightenment, God shows him a tree with three leaves on it. The man is terribly distressed that he has three more lives to go.

A new meditator, overhearing this, asks God how many lives she has left. God points to a tree with thousands of leaves on it. She runs up to the tree singing, “Thank you, God! Thank you, God!” As she dances round the tree, the leaves start falling from the branches until there are none left. She reaches Enlightenment then and there.

Clearly, her faith and gratitude are immensely powerful. But how to access faith and gratitude when feeling burdened, perhaps to the point of despair?

First, you may be comforted that A Course in Miracles says this about reincarnation, “There is no past or future, and the idea of birth into a body has no meaning either once or many times.” Therefore, “In the ultimate sense, reincarnation is impossible.” (M-24)

But even if the above statement offers you relief from the fear of returning to a future miserable human existence, it is not a solution, right? Because you’re still saddled with all the baggage that is too much to sort out in this lifetime. Jesus calls this our “personal repertory of horrors.” (W-14)

Guilt holds the ego in place like cement until we entertain the possibility that we can forgive and be forgiven. The way out of suffering is to investigate your suffering with Spirit. Being Witnessed compassionately is the antidote for fear, which thrives in secret.

As Sri Mooji says, “Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you. It will only burn what you are not.”

Second, sometimes anger can be redirected as a positive tool for overcoming fear. Rather than feeling hostile towards others, or beating yourself up, point the fire energy of anger at fear. You will gain some distance and detachment from fear; you will learn to tolerate feeling fear and yet carry on.

Best of all, you will assign new meaning to fear: it can be used as an alarm clock, alerting you each time you choose ego, and inviting you to choose again. Look within. Ask for Help. Listen, even briefly, for Guidance. Notice what happens. Read Physicians’ Untold Stories by Scott J. Kolbaba, MD to help you recognize the signs and signals you are being given.

Third, read and practice Lesson 14 in the ACIM Workbook.

Fourth, read Chapter 15, The Holy Instant, where Jesus acknowledges, “How bleak and despairing is the ego’s use of time! And how terrifying!” (T-15.I.6:1-2) and gives us an alternative:

“Begin to practice the Holy Spirit’s use of time as a teaching aid to happiness and peace. Take this very instant, now, and think of it as all there is of time. Nothing can reach you here out of the past, and it is here that you are completed absolved, completely free and wholly without condemnation. From this holy instant wherein holiness was born again you will go forth in time without fear….”

Follow these four steps and experience your faith strengthening, your gratitude increasing, and all dread dissolving in the light of Truth.


Receiving Is Giving

It used to be easier for me to give than to receive. There were rewards for giving. People were happy when I gave them what they wanted–be it a cup of tea, a comforting hug, a pep talk, some sympathy, money, loaning my car, etc. And I felt needed, useful.

However, after studying A Course in Miracles for a while (along with 12-step work and psychotherapy), I began to realize that giving on human terms was supporting conditional love rather than unconditional love. It was also enabling me to maintain control rather than developing faith in relying on my Inner Teacher.

“The bringer of miracles has need that you receive them first, and thus become the joyous giver of what you have received.” W-192

In the above quote, the “bringer of miracles” refers to the Holy Spirit, your Inner Teacher. Miracle principle #5, at the very beginning of the Text, states that miracles “should be involuntary. They should not be under conscious control.”  This is because miracles are being channeled through you by the Holy Spirit when you open to His joyous guidance.

As long as you select and direct who you love, who you are nice to, who you are generous with, who you pray for and what kind of healing you want, you are allowing the ego to play god instead of relaxing into God’s plan for salvation. God’s plan is communicated to you and through you when you allow yourself to receive the Love, Peace and Joy which is your true nature by opening as a clear conduit for miracles.

You cannot do this if you are constantly giving.  Constant giving is controlling and lacks humility.  It is busy egoic action and ultimately remains divisive and limiting.  You must open to receive what the Holy Spirit has to give you with no agenda whatsoever.  This is the path to an ongoing flow of miracles.  And remember, miracles are not for human gratification.  The purpose of miracles is to remind you of Who you really are–Spirit.

Listen to Corinne Zupko interview me on “Receiving Is Giving” (scroll down to the bottom right side for the 2014, 2015, 2016 Conference Bundle).


Other Thanksgiving essays: Is Thanksgiving Necessary?, Giving Thanks to You, Giving Thanks and Admitting I Felt Ungrateful Released Me

Ask Amy: Is ACIM a Self-Study Course?

Q: Ever since I began reading A Course in Miracles, teachers and students have been saying that ACIM is a self-study course. This doesn’t feel right to me. I mean, the Course is all about practicing forgiveness which involves other people! What do you think?

A: Well, let’s start with the meaning of “self-study.” According to, “self-study” means “the study of something by oneself, as through books, etc., without direct supervision or attendance in a class.”

Consider this: you cannot learn what A Course in Miracles has to offer without direct supervision! If you, as a person, try to absorb ACIM, it won’t stick — like grease repelled by Teflon. Your entire purpose, as an ego-mind, is NOT to understand what the Course is teaching. The ego finds A Course in Miracles repellent.

“This course has explicitly stated that its goal for you is happiness and peace. Yet you are afraid of it. You have been told again and again that it will set you free, yet you sometimes react as if it is trying to imprison you. You often dismiss it more readily than you dismiss the ego’s thought system. To some extent, then, you must believe that by not learning the course you are protecting yourself.” (T-13.II.7)

So, if you want to benefit from ACIM, you must accept direct supervision.

Now, let’s breakdown the word “supervision.” Super. Vision. Hmm, who has super vision?

“The opposite of seeing through the body’s eyes is the vision of Christ, which reflects strength rather than weakness, unity rather than separation, and love rather than fear.” (Preface, What It Says.10:1)

In case you haven’t caught on yet, your Direct Supervisor is the Holy Spirit.

To “self-study” (take note of the lower case “s” in “self-study”) the Course, is, literally, not to study the Course. In fact, ACIM does not require study at all! What Jesus asks of you is to be willing to request spiritual guidance from One Who Knows because, unlike the ego’s self-study solutions, “…the Holy Spirit’s vision is merciful and His remedy is quick.” (T-13.III.7:2)

Merely taking an intellectual approach to A Course in Miracles puts you in danger of being a good “know-it-all”: learning concepts, memorizing terminology, grasping the model of two thought systems: the ego’s and God’s, etc. This can take you only so far, because God’s Thought cannot be put into words, concepts or terminology.

If you are what I call “sponge-able,” that is, willing to read without understanding, then the Course serves as your awakening tool. The ego-mind-body-person, cannot direct the forgiveness practice that ACIM offers (relating to “others” until you see ego projection/perception for what it is and realize we are Brothers-Christ-One Sonship). As Jesus tells us, “The Holy Spirit has the task of undoing what the ego has made.” (T-5.III.5:5)

When you are willing to follow the Holy Spirit’s Guidance you embark on a Self-study course! It becomes clear that it is not the body’s eyes that read ACIM, rather a readiness for the memory of God within has been activated and you are flowing with Grace. This results in something far better than Self-study … Self-Awareness. Can you discern the difference?

For an immediate experience of your Self right now, fill in the box to the right, “Want to know how God sees you?”


This GUEST POST is written by my wise friend and colleague, Teri Hooper, author of Conscious Parenting Using A Course in Miracles. Under remarkable stress, she continues to practice the Course and


A year ago I had to move my elderly mother into my home. She was no longer able to live by herself but did not want to move to an assisted living facility. In addition, my husband was diagnosed with young onset dementia at age 59. Throw in my 31 year old schizoaffective untreated uncooperative son and my home became stressful beyond measure.
I thought A Course in Miracles would help me keep my perspective through this but I found myself angry when it didn’t seem to work.
What I realized is that while I had knowledge of the Course and have studied it for years, I did not actually have FAITH in the Course. I found that I am still believing the illusion of the world.
How do I know that I am still engrained in the ego thought system? GUILT and ANGER and RESENTMENT! Just recently it dawned on me that I still felt an obligation to make sure everyone in my family is taken care of. I have been judging whether I am doing a good job of caregiving or not. I would feel anger and resentment and feel stuck with the responsibility of them all.
Silly, silly, ego. Those are ego thoughts. I just need to apply the same principles I talked about with children in my book, Conscious Parenting Using A Course in Miracles, to the adults in my family as well.
But the most important “ah ha” moment is when I realized the biggest error in perception with regards to them is my belief in the special relationship. When I make myself feel responsible for their well being, I am believing in the special relationship of them being family and being separate.
I now know that if and when the time comes that I can’t or don’t want to take care of them anymore, it is ok because this world is not what I want. They are not the bodies that my physical eyes see. I am not the body MY physical eyes see. This world is not home! Why would I feel guilty and anger and resentment for something that is not real? So silly of me.
The anger, guilt and resentment aren’t entirely gone. They still show up from time to time, but they are replaced more often than not with compassion, forgiveness, awareness, and detachment. The difference seems to be that I recognize ego feelings more quickly than before, and now find it easier to shift that perception to Truth.
My ego has made this far too complicated. I forgot to surrender my thoughts to the Holy Spirit for healing all the while thinking that the Holy Spirit is having a good chuckle at my idea that they need healing at all!

Setting A Trap for God – a unique way to understand prayer

My intuition led me to the renowned Aramaic bible scholar, Dr. Rocco Errico, as I explored the essence of sayings attributed to Jesus.  One thing led to another, and blessedly, below is the first from a series of six videos that arose out of our initial in-person conversation.

Overcoming Overwhelm — the spiritual way :)

From October 2015 through December 2016, I felt overwhelmed, energetically compressed, and in need of help. My spiritual life continued to be a beacon of light throughout this time, but I still needed some practical, yet spiritual, guidance … and the Holy Spirit always comes through (even if it seems to take longer than we would like!).  Listen to the interview below, to hear the guidance that helped me, and is sure to be useful to you, too.