Unlearning Classroom

Ask Amy: Death of Child

Posted on August 31, 2015

in Ask Amy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

Guy Question Q: In a workshop, I heard you say that the loss of a child could be the best thing that ever happened. Initially I was shocked. I don’t see how a parent could ever think this, but being a Course student for five years, I keep an open mind. Can you explain?

A: Your question cuts to the quick, and therefore offers huge potential for healing. First, notice how ego changes what was said just a little bit, so little it seems inconsequential. The actual phrase used was, “Every moment, no exceptions, is the best moment of your life.” Ego distorts, misinterprets and misses the point – that’s its job. It does this to maintain its false identity.

Your open mind provides the space for the miracle. “It is to this unsealed and open mind that truth returns, unhindered and unbound.” (T-31.V.17:3) The “best moment” is a timeless moment. The timeless moment is what the Course calls a holy instant.

“The holy instant is this instant and every instant. … Delay it not. For beyond the past and future, where you will not find it, it stands in shimmering readiness for your acceptance.” (T-15.IV.1:3-8)

The holy instant reveals you are not the body but the One Eternal Formless Self. There is no pain or loss here. There is no memory here. There is no personal identity here. There is no “untimely death” here. Jesus tells us 20 times in the Course, “Brother, there is no death.” and who is better qualified to assure us of this than he?

To the ego, this is outrageous and heartless. When in the throes of grief, this may seem impossible to grasp. But this is the perfect time to rely on the Holy Spirit. Give Him your tears, your shattered dreams, your rage, your guilt, your agony. This clears a space to receive the miracles that surely follow. You may or may not recognize them, depending on the openness of your mind. Either way, healing occurs.

The ego believes in loss; the Holy Spirit reminds you that you are Whole. The ego declares you are form; the Holy Spirit reminds you that you are Spirit. The ego wants you to witness to form: obviously you are a body. Jesus witnesses to Content: obviously you and your child are deathless Life. “The holy instant is the Holy Spirit’s most useful learning device for teaching you love’s meaning. For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely.” (T-15.V.1:1-2)

A Course in Miracles is about shifting from the human point of view, which we take for granted as the only point of view, to recognizing what you really are. You are not a person; you are Spirit. God is not other than you; God is your Self. This is revealed in the holy instant, which offers us glimpses of Timelessness. Glimpses eventually stabilize as Vision. The Holy Spirit uses time for holy instants until they culminate in the Atonement – the final undoing; the recognition that the separation never occurred.

“There may come a time when you thank God for your difficulties,” says the contemporary mystic, Mooji, “because that pain led you to God.” The death of a child can be viewed as a devastating tragedy or an opportunity to awaken.

Please feel free to continue this inquiry with me; more questions may arise as your contemplation deepens.

Recommended Reading: Self-Concept versus Self (T-31.V); The Holy Instant and Special Relationships (T-15.V); The Bridge to the Real World (T-16.VI); This Is the Best Moment of Your Life by Amy Torres

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the Sept-Oct 2015 issue of Miracles magazine. Miracles is a well-loved staple in the ACIM community. For a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089. To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Posted on July 25, 2015

in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

by Amy Torres

Saying the words, “I want to break up,” whether with respect to a marital relationship or any other committed relationship (be it romantic, work, friend, etc.) is one of the hardest things a human being ever has to do.

Making the conscious choice to end one of the strongest bonds we have ever made frightens us to our very core. We fear that we’ll never meet anyone else. We fear the possible financial burden, the loneliness, the unknown. We feel guilty for being disloyal, abandoning a loved one. We dread seeing hurt or rage on our partner’s face. We fear retribution, punishment and vengeance.

Many teachings suggest that we should never break up. There are loyalty oaths, responsibilities, social stigmas. There is the suggestion that we are immature, lack tenacity, are being selfish.

I’ve found that for a certain kind of person — a person who is considerate, emotionally generous, fair-minded, and understanding; someone who is seeking cooperation, yet has low self-esteem — it is possible to be taken advantage of in relationships. It is this sort of person who is the most afraid to break up, because underlying these positive qualities, there is often an emotional immaturity and dependency that produces strong feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

Yet, it is just this sort of person who benefits from dissolving a partnership that is not working because it is an opportunity to be true to themselves; to put themselves to the test of being more independent; developing resourcefulness and self-sufficiency; and, eventually, if they so desire, insisting on a more compatible mate, a true partner, a mutually rewarding, cooperative, and enjoyable relationship.

I speak from experience. I was this low self-esteem person, and for a long time I didn’t even know it! I was blind because I was competent. People close to me relied on me, but instead of being appreciative they took me for granted, undervalued me, and gave me no credit.

Therefore, for too long, I also took myself for granted, undervalued myself and unconsciously assumed no one else would ever want me. Thank goodness there was a spark of indignation inside me (my natural positive self-esteem — everyone has it no matter how crushed or buried) which pushed me, little by little, to find the courage to make changes.

After agonizing for years, I finally left a husband who wasn’t truly in partnership with me, and a job which did not serve me. In the process it felt as if I was losing everything that mattered to me — building a life with someone; having children together; developing lifelong relationships with family and friends. (That’s a story for another time.)

Thankfully, my spiritual studies sustained me through the pain and fear. A Course in Miracles empowered me through Lesson 153, “In my defenselessness my safety lies.” which strengthened me to tell the truth without attacking. I learned to focus on the healing power of our relationships with others. I had a growing understanding that, whether we are aware of it or not, we are all facets of the same diamond, all beating in the same heart, all thinking through the same mind.

A Sufi proverb puts it this way, “When the heart weeps for what it has lost, the spirit laughs for what it has found.”

The lyrics “breaking up is hard to do” are so true. But spending a lifetime in a relationship that you resent is far worse. I learned a hard, but invaluable spiritual lesson from this experience — I gained a deep and abiding trust in God, a heartfelt ‘knowing’ that being completely dependent on God, rather than on any human being, was the answer. What a perfect solution to codependency!

Paradoxically, that dependency guarantees the most empowering relationship in which we will ever be, because it is an awakening of our original relationship with God, from which all other truly loving relationships spring.

The biggest surprise of all is that after we break some ties which were sustained for too long due to low self-esteem, our self-appreciation, love and esteem grows. This growth leads to another break up — the break up with your self! As A Course in Miracles explains, the person you take yourself to be is an ego-induced self-concept. As you awaken to your True Value, you naturally break away from the false idea of personal identity and recognize your True Self.

If you have questions, please email miracles(at)amytorresacim(dot)com

He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose.

Posted on June 25, 2015

in Unlearning Classroom

by Amy Torres

Before I discovered A Course in Miracles, the Sufis came into my life. Actually, there is no “ism” to Sufism. It is the all-embracing religion of Love, encompassing all religions, and all peoples, everywhere. Even so, there are different lineages of Sufis, and my teachers stemmed from the Chishti master, Hazrat Inayat Khan. Bless his heart, Wahiduddin has been providing the world with a message a day from the master for as long as I can remember. I love the way they interweave with ACIM. Here is one of my favorites. Commentary by Pir-o-Murshid Inayat Khan:

Bowl of Saki, March 13. “He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose.”

One may ask, ‘What is the best way for a person to understand his life’s purpose?’ If one follows the bent of one’s own mind, if one follows the track to which one is attracted, if one follows one’s own inclination, which is not satisfied with anything else, one feels, ‘There is something waiting for me (which one does not know at the time), which will bring me satisfaction.’ Besides, if one is intuitive and mystical, it is easier still, because then one is continually told what is the purpose of one’s life.

For nature has such a perfection of wisdom. One sees that the insects are given the sense to make their little houses and to protect themselves and make a store of their food. The bees, who have the gift of making honey, are taught how to make honey. So nature has taught every soul to seek its purpose. It has made every soul for that purpose, and it is continually calling that soul to see that purpose. If the soul does not hear the call and sleeps, it is not the fault of nature, which is continually calling. Therefore, if I were to say in a few words, how to find one’s purpose, I would say: by waking from sleep. from http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/I/I_IV_1.htm

Every being has a definite vocation, and his vocation is the light which illuminates his life. The man who disregards his vocation is a lamp unlit. He who sincerely seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose. As he concentrates on that search a light begins to clear his confusion, call it revelation, call it inspiration, call it what you will. It is mistrust that misleads. Sincerity leads straight to the goal. from http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/I/I_I_2.htm

That way is best which suits you best. The way of one person is not for another person, although man is always inclined to accuse another person of doing wrong, believing that he himself is doing right. … That purpose is accomplished when a person has risen above all these things. It is that person then, who will tolerate all, who will understand all, who will assimilate all things, who will not feel disturbed by things which are not in accordance with his own nature or the way which is not his way. He will not look at them with contempt, but he will see that in the depth of every being there is a divine spark which is trying to raise its flame toward the purpose.

When a person has arrived at this stage, he has risen above the limitations of the world. Then he has become entitled to experience the joy of coming near to the real purpose of life. It is then that in everything that he says or does, he will be accomplishing that purpose. … We come to understand by this that the further we go the more tolerant we become. Outward things matter little. It is the inward realization which counts.

However sacred duty may be, however high may be the hope of paradise, however great the happiness one may experience in the pleasures of the earth, however much satisfaction one may find in earthly treasures, the purpose of life is in rising above all these things.

It is then that the soul will have no discord, no disagreement with others. It is then that the natural attitude of the soul will become tolerant and forgiving. The purpose of life is fulfilled in rising to the greatest heights and in diving to the deepest depths of life: in widening one’s horizon, in penetrating life in all its spheres, in losing oneself, and in finding oneself in the end. In the accomplishment of the purpose of life the purpose of creation is fulfilled. Therefore, in this fulfillment it is not that man attained, but that God Himself has fulfilled His purpose. from http://wahiduddin.net/mv2/I/I_IV_11.htm

* * * * *

Here is a quote from A Course in Miracles that corresponds to Hazrat Inayat Khan’s wisdom that, “He who with sincerity seeks his real purpose in life is himself sought by that purpose.”

“The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance. Ask and He will answer. … His answers are always right. Would you say that of yours?” (M-29)

Remember to Laugh

Posted on April 26, 2015

in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, What is A Course in Miracles?

by Amy Torres

Amy crosslegged white Laughing is the application of ACIM principles. It’s right there in Chapter 27: “Into eternity, where all is one, there crept a tiny, mad idea, at which the Son of God remembered not to laugh. In his forgetting did the thought become a serious idea, and possible of both accomplishment and real effects. Together, we can laugh them both away, and understand that time cannot intrude upon eternity. It is a joke to think that time can come to circumvent eternity, which means there is no time.” T-27.VIII.6:2-5

Dr. Bernie Siegel, the author of Love, Medicine and Miracles, has many stories to tell about the power of laughter. There’s a whole school of yoga devoted to laughter. Comedian John Cleese says, “Laughter is a force for democracy.” Cancer thriver, as Kris Carr calls herself, has laughed in the face of terminal disease. Vice president Joe Biden shines light when he shares the tragic death of his wife and child. How do we laugh when we’re least likely to feel like laughing?

Biden considered suicide but came to find, “There will come a day, I promise you, and your parents, as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.” He was speaking to the families of military veterans, but it goes for the rest of us as well. It applies to anyone who has contemplated suicide or hurt inside in any way, for any reason.

“This is the great wake-up call, this is the great spiritual practice. What am I going to do now? Am I going to fold?,” asked Carr, author of Crazy, Sexy Cancer, who was given a death sentence but instead chose to keep smiling and become a peace revolutionary through a plant-based diet.

There is a saying, “Time heals all wounds.” A Course in Miracles promises to save us time. It teaches that miracles literally collapse time. The miracle of laughter uses time for healing rather than brooding, simmering, panicking, collapsing, or seeking vengeance.

“The Holy Spirit uses time as He thinks best, and He is never wrong. Psychotherapy under His direction is one of the means He uses to save time …” P-1.5:5-6

Laughter is psychotherapy. Laughter is good medicine. And when we just can’t bring ourselves to laugh, a wry comment, some dry humor, a small smile are better than nothing. They are the equivalent of raising our eyes up from the ground and looking out towards the horizon. There is some scientific evidence which shows that laughter, even when we force it, or fake it, stimulates chemical changes in the brain and body which are powerfully healing.

Of course, ACIM students learn that the only illness is mental illness and when we’re willing to change our minds, we find an inner peace that removes the wrinkles from our brow and puts a smile on our lips. Remembering to laugh is choosing to forgive. Lesson 121 is, “Forgiveness is the key to happiness,” and Lesson 122 follows with, “[Forgiveness] sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day.”

At the root of physical and emotional pain is always psychological pain. Whether our situation is dramatic or mundane, we deserve to exercise our option to choose light and laughter. Remembering to laugh is an undoing process that takes us from our personal problems all the way back to the one problem the Course says is the only real problem: believing the tiny, mad idea that we are separate from God. All we have to do to establish inner peace is choose again, choose to recognize the cosmic joke is on us, and forgive, forgive, forgive!

TIP: Paradoxically, sometimes the only way to laugh is to stop laughing. When I was going through a “dark night of the soul,” it was healing for me to stop laughing and smiling, because I blocked people from helping me with my constant good cheer. They just assumed I was okay. So if it seems to you that your smile is a defense, relax into your pain and allow that energy to move through you. This is easier said than done, because becoming vulnerable when we’re frozen with self-protection takes time. And certain emotions feel dangerous. But if you sincerely want to heal, the Holy Spirit will show you how, and will help you find a healer with whom to do release work. You will laugh again. And each time you do, time will melt into timelessness until you remember Who you already are.

Get your laugh on — click here to watch the miraculously funny Trevor Noah.

Read previous, related issues of The Unlearning Classroom:

God Is In Your Smile
Forgiveness is Fear-Removal
What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is Understanding

Ask Amy: Are you the creator of your universe?

Posted on April 1, 2015

in Ask Amy, Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

by Amy Torres

Guy Question Q: After working with the Course for several years, I take from it the message that I am the creator of my universe. A dear friend of mine was killed in Syria recently. Did I create this? If I did, I don’t know how I can live with myself.

A: Rest assured, you did not create the killing of your dear friend in Syria. Only the ego thinks in terms of guilty responsibility, magical powers of influence, and the loss of life. Jesus, in his Course in Miracles, would never put you through this kind of psychological agony.

The idea that you are the creator of your universe is a common misconception among Course students. The primary mistake lies in not understanding who you really are. Typically, every human, and therefore, every reader of ACIM, begins with the assumption that he or she is a body, identified as male or female, labeled with a name, assigned a role as son or daughter, and so on. These designations are nothing more than ego brainwashing, layering assumption on top of assumption that the body is “you.”

But you are not a body. God’s Creation is an extension of the Creator Himself — consequently, you are Spirit, not human. Therefore, when referring to yourself, know that You are Imageless, Formless, Timeless, and Unified as God’s One Son. It is not the little ego “you” who creates; the ego “you” mistakenly dreams and that is all. The real You creates the way God creates: You naturally and effortlessly emanate Loving Light.

“Yet what is it except a game you play in which Identity can be denied? You are as God created you.” (W-191)

The one collective ego mind (of which people appear to be individual fragments) is a terrorist dictatorship thought system. The way out of this tyrannical, punitive, and vicious ego-mind cycle is to observe the ego with Jesus. Then you discover the only reason the ego felt so real is that you believed in it, while forgetting it was nothing more than a passing idea in God’s Mind.

“In a split mind, identity must seem to be divided.” (T-27.II.11:1)

When you stop unconsciously denying your true Identity, it is revealed that as long as we seem to live in a world with others, the only sane choice is to follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance and be a miracle worker. You will feel peaceful, comforted, liberated and illuminated, as you devote the body to serving God’s Will instead of reinforcing a false personal identity.

“It is impossible that God lose His Identity, for if He did, you would lose yours.” (T-14.XI.7:5)

Let us conclude with a prayer for your friend. May he rest in God, at Home with his Father, enlightened and free in the recognition of his true Self. Death can serve as one of the many doorways to Who we really are. Happily for all of us, it is inevitable that everyone awaken to our God-Self, each in our own perfect moment.

“The word ‘inevitable’ is fearful to the ego, but joyous to the spirit. God is inevitable, and you cannot avoid Him any more than He can avoid you.” (T-4.I.9:10-11)

Note: If you found this topic interesting, click here to read the Ask Amy column in the Jan/Feb 2015 issue of Miracles magazine, which delves into this same concept from a different angle.

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the March-April 2015 issue of Miracles magazine. Miracles is a well-loved staple in the ACIM community. To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089. To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Gatita’s Metamorphosis Into The Lady

Posted on March 21, 2015

in ACIM Body Image, Spiritual Psychotherapy, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

by Amy Torres

The Lady muted eyes It has been about eight months since Gatita gently laid the body aside and emerged as The Lady.

Some hours after shedding her skin, I had the clear sense that Gatita was no longer a cat. When I spoke with her in my mind she was now The Lady. She had emerged from the confines of form.

The Lady has the elevated essence of Mary’s love, purity and kindness. She is numinous, sublime and retains a feline inscrutability.

The Lady is another way of saying the Holy Spirit.

The Lady understood my great appreciation of Gatita’s form and we could mind-meld as She loved me and communicated ideas like,

“That was an exquisite form. I understand your love for it. You can love the Gatita I was and yet you don’t have to miss her. When you drop your Amy form you will not miss that. You will experience pure freedom. And you can experience that pure freedom before you drop the form as well simply by shifting your attention from form to What Is.”

All grieving felt sweet; it was a confirmation of the love Gatita and I shared. It didn’t feel like loss.

This grieving feels like a tribute to unconditional love. It is confirming of the Formless. It is liberating and tender. It is strengthening of faith and courage.

Om Namah Shivaya.

Click here to read an earlier post on the miracle of Gatita’s passing. And this may inspire you as well: Inexplicably Predictably Happy

“The Lady” illustration was lovingly and beautifully drawn by Harper Wood. If you would like to commission artwork, email [email protected]

The Cure for You

Posted on February 25, 2015

in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, What is A Course in Miracles?

by Amy Torres

Amy crosslegged white “Who is the ‘you’ who are living in this world?” ~Jesus (T-4.II.11:8)

Do you assume you are a person? Is it a given that your body and your personality are “you”?

One way of describing A Course in Miracles is that it offers a cure to the delusional belief all people hold that their identity is connected to the body. If this is a brand new thought for you, you are probably saying, “Wha???”

That’s okay. It’s a huge turning point for every ACIM student when he or she “gets it” that everything is happening in the mind, not the body.

The only problem people have is a mental problem; it is not a brain-body problem. Your only problem is a mind problem. This is why Jesus tells us in Chapter 21, “Seek not to change the world. Choose to change your mind about the world.”

Can you locate the mind? Try to put your finger on the mind. What is the mind composed of? Thoughts, beliefs, ideas, concepts. Can you touch thoughts, beliefs, ideas and concepts?

As you contemplate this, notice whether a click of recognition arises … or fear. Recognition is the memory of God within you surfacing through ego-imposed clouds and darkness. Fear is the voice of the ego saying, “Don’t remember!” Don’t remember what? Who you really are: Spirit extending naturally from the Formless, Timeless, Changeless, Innocent, Unified God-Mind which is your Source.

By the way, the ego offers us all kinds of cures for sickness and unhappiness. Sometimes they work on the human level; sometimes they don’t. The nature of the ego is that it is changing, contradictory and unstable. But the Holy Spirit offers a sure-fire cure that always works. The central idea in Lesson 140 states: “Only salvation can be said to cure.”

Salvation means the undoing of what never was. The ego is the dreamer of a dream that we are separate from God. Ego mesmerizes us by imagining bodies, from the celestial level to the human level. Ego mind would keep us stuck in the concept of a body forever, but Lesson 140 offers us a way out, “The happy dreams the Holy Spirit brings … lead from sleep to gentle waking, so that dreams are gone. And thus they cure for all eternity.”

We need the Holy Spirit to undo our beliefs because, as people, we are stuck within a limited ego thought system which does not want us to understand that we can be cured of personal identity. This cure, to the ego, seems to be death. As the beloved master Mooji says, it is only death to what you are not, but What You Truly Are is Life and Life cannot include death.

The cure for living as a person is to undo the person completely. The person cannot undo the person; it is the Holy Spirit’s job to unravel the tangled web we elected the ego to weave. Just withdraw your vote for darkness and complexity, and Light and Simplicity will naturally arise in the Mind of which you are an inextricable extension.

At first, improving the person seems necessary, but eventually, you get the hang of dropping the person altogether. Let me know if this makes sense to you — email me at [email protected]

Watch for my upcoming book, Sweet Dreams of Awakening. And let’s practice together! Watch and listen to my readings of each ACIM Lesson on Youtube. Also, check out Workin’ the Workbook, my online class which supports the ACIM Workbook practice.

Review I: Introduction

Posted on February 20, 2015

in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, Workin' the Workbook

by Amy Torres

This is the first review in the A Course in Miracles Workbook. It covers the first 50 lessons in sets of five. Jesus tells us this is designed to emphasize the relationships among the first 50 ideas in the lessons in order to appreciate the cohesiveness of the God’s thought system which is where they are leading us.

If any of the five ideas in any given review lesson appeal more than the others, make that the focus of your day.

“The purpose of your learning is to enable you to bring the quiet with you, and to heal distress and turmoil.” At first, we learn in solitude, but the purpose of this practice is to build up an ability to stay with Peace no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. As we dis-identify as a person-body, this becomes easier and easier because we are discovering we are Peace.

Jesus puts it this way, “You will yet learn that peace is part of you, and requires only that you be there to embrace any situation in which you are. And finally you will learn that there is no limit to where you are, so that your peace is everywhere, as you are.”

Let’s practice together! Watch and listen to Amy reading each ACIM Lesson on Youtube. Also, check out Workin’ the Workbook, Amy’s online class which supports the ACIM Workbook practice.

How to Stop Mind Chatter

Posted on February 12, 2015

in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, What is A Course in Miracles?

by Amy Torres

The ego mind is a weapon of mass distraction. Distraction is destruction, when it comes to peace of mind. That’s why it’s imperative to learn how to stop mind chatter.

Peace of Mind is God-Thought — a Oneness joined as One. Absolute God-Thought does not contain words or images, shapes or forms, time or space; It just Is. It is Life — Unborn, Undying Being.

Ego-thinking, on the other hand, is a dreamer of a false identity within God-Mind. It is an attempt to split and limit what is Unified and Limitless. It is imaginative but not Creative. The descent from Oneness to personal identity contains layers of veils to prevent you from remembering your True Self.

“Never allow purity to remain hidden, but shine away the heavy veils of guilt within which the Son of God has hidden himself from his own sight.” (T-14.V.4:4)

How do we nip ego-mind chatter in the bud?

Jesus tells us as early as Chapter 3, “You are much too tolerant of mind wandering, and are passively condoning your mind’s miscreations.” And in Lesson 43, he says, “Do not allow any protracted period to occur in which you become preoccupied with irrelevant thoughts.”

yogi jc

It is a turning point when you are able to catch irrelevant thoughts and use mind chatter as a reminder to choose again. The tool Jesus provides in Lesson 43 is to repeat, “God is my Source. I cannot see apart from Him.” It is one of countless expressions of God choices. You can simply say, “Holy Spirit, help me!” or “I am Spirit” or “God, God, God.”

I’ve found that a powerful alternative that fits perfectly with A Course in Miracles is to use Sanskrit, which is primarily a vibrationally-based language and only secondarily meaning-based. For a better understanding of what I mean by this and how it works, watch Prescription for Inner Peace.

Let’s practice together! My 3 mindfulness meditations on http://cdbaby.com/amytorres stop mind chatter in 10 minutes or less for only 99 cents each. Also, check out my dear friend Corinne Zupko’s free webinar http://www.acimindfulness.com

Ask Amy: Sexually abused by a priest: are you responsible?

Posted on February 1, 2015

in Ask Amy, Non-duality, Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Today's ACIM Lesson, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

by Amy Torres

Guy Question Q: As a boy, I was sexually abused by a priest, and it has crippled me as an adult in many ways. The Course has helped me to forgive him, but I feel like Jesus is blaming me when he tells us to say, “I am responsible for what I see. I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide upon the goal I would achieve. And everything that seems to happen to me I ask for, and receive as I have asked.” (T-21.II) How could I be responsible for this priest’s actions, especially since I was so young at the time?

A: Thank you for your courage in sharing this devastating situation. Your question is shared by so many people who were betrayed as children. There are several layers here, so let’s peel them away together.

First, you reveal that due to the abuse you are crippled as an adult. As realistic as this seems to you, please consider that no matter what your circumstances, feelings, or state of mind, Jesus clearly states in Chapter 1, “You are the work of God, and His work is wholly lovable and wholly loving.” Somewhere deep inside we all know this is true. Allow yourself to be a sponge and soak up this loving testament to who you really are, and always will be, God’s perfect child.

Second, you say the Course has helped you forgive the priest. In the ACIM Preface, Jesus explains that each special relationship holds the “chance to forgive oneself by forgiving the other.” This could be taken to mean that one person forgives another, but the Course clarifies that forgiveness occurs when you invite the Holy Spirit to take charge and work through you. The Holy Spirit truly empowers us by undoing projections of victimization no matter how justified they appear.

In the process, guilt may seem to move from “other” back to “self” until it evaporates entirely. Eventually, we discover forgiveness undoes the identification you have as a person and reveals there is no one to be forgiven. You don’t have to figure this out. ACIM is like a Zen koan — it boggles the mind in order to open the mind to its true Identity.

Third, you feel Jesus is blaming you, which reveals you are still carrying guilt. Not to worry. Guilt is the glue that holds the ego together. When you catch yourself feeling as if Jesus is blaming you, be aware that ego-thinking has taken over. Let this become an ongoing reminder to “choose again.” Simply say, “Holy Spirit, I choose your guidance. Remind me of my innocence.” Miracles are guaranteed.

Last, you ask, “How could I be responsible for the priest’s actions, especially since I was so young at the time?” Notice within your question is the inherent assumption that you are a person. Don’t fall for this ego trick. “A pseudo-question has no answer. It dictates the answer even as it asks.” (T-27.IV.5) The ego lures us to speculate endlessly about human affairs. Dismiss this temptation.

The prayer you cite is about a higher power of decision. There are only two choices: God or ego. You are responsible for choosing to see with the Holy Spirit’s unifying vision or the ego’s divisive eyesight. This prayer is neither an accusation nor a law of attraction mantra. Jesus is not concerned with people improving their personal lives, which only strengthens belief in ego illusions. Happily, the part of you that reads the Course understands this because it is the memory of God within you, awakening to its true Self.

Try this: “I, the One Son of God, am responsible for what I see.” Choose peace, make peace your goal, and you will come to feel peace, receive peace, give peace, and know you are peace. “Everything looked upon with vision is healed and holy.” (T-21.Intro)

Suggested reading: A Course in Miracles, T-11.VIII. The Problem and the Answer; T-26.II. Many Forms; One Correction; S-1.I. True Prayer, and How to Take Yourself Less Personally.