A Little Nothing Nobody

In 1992, I was working for an advertising industry trade magazine.  One aspect of that job was appearing on a monthly cable TV business show to review commercial campaigns.  This was a glamorous leap for me, who had never been in the public eye before.  After I had been doing this for a few months, a friend called to say he had seen me on TV.  He sounded quite impressed.

I heard myself say to him, “I know, can you imagine?  A little nothing nobody like me?”  We had a big laugh together.

Afterwards, I chastised myself for saying I was “a little nothing nobody.”  It was a time in my life when I was building up my self-esteem and I didn’t want to be self-critical.  Yet, oddly, calling myself “a little nothing nobody” felt very good.  There was a freedom and humility in it that was so relaxing and liberating.

This recognition is deep within all of us.  The Self knows it is no body and invites us to awaken to this Truth all the time.  “What is the ego?  Nothingness, but in a form that seems like something.” (C-2.2:1-2)

Even though I focused my attention, at that time, on building my self-esteem, for some reason I never forgot this phrase, “a little nothing nobody” and the quiet joy it delivered.  This remembering is the memory of God within.  We all have it; you just need to pay attention to inner messages and subtle cues that remind you of what you already know: You are not a body.  You are free.  For you are still as God created you.

Is An Obsession with God Healthy?

About 15 years ago, I realized that I was “obsessed with God.”  It was a healthy obsession which grew out of my immersion in A Course in Miracles.  God was in my thoughts day and night.  I looked “normal” and behaved “normally” but I was no longer alone in my thought process.  God was constantly with “me.”   Trust grew.  Fear lessened.  Miracles and blessings occurred daily.

I went through several periods of disorientation as my personal identity was uprooted but remained completely functional.  My personality still threw ego thoughts at “me” but interest in them waned as surrender to the Creator prevailed.  In other words, the personality and its demands became less and less riveting as God illuminated my mind.  This undoing process continues to this day.

I highly recommend the God obsession.  Many people are afraid that an obsession with God means they are having a break with reality or will turn into a monk or nun.  It’s the opposite.  A healthy obsession with God returns you to your right mind which puts you on the path to Reality.  And most people are not called to celibacy or a life of solitude, although if you are, it will be perfect for you.

The key element to a healthy obsession is tuning in to your Internal Teacher.  A Course in Miracles calls the Internal Teacher the Holy Spirit.  It goes by many names and can be found on countless spiritual paths.  Eventually the Internal Teacher makes Itself obsolete, as “you” disappear back into the nothingness from which you came, and Truth Presides.

Read Five Steps to Cultivating Your Relationship with the Holy Spirit to develop your own healthy obsession with God 🙂

Gatita Sparkles

On July 12th, 2014, my darling, beloved cat, Gatita, emerged from the cocoon of the body and dissolved into timeless sparkles.  Many of you have expressed love for Gatita over the years, and I want to share some of the miracles that accompanied her “death.”

Gatita was 17 years old and the decline of her body had been going on for about three years.  During these years, she was the catalyst for many holy instants as I chose over and over again to purge fear and know Love in the present moment.

When the time came, overflowing with love for her, I held Gatita in my lap until her heartbeat ceased.  Then I gently handed her to Scott.  He felt a great relief escape from Gatita as she laid the body aside … and then a burst of joyous sparkles beyond anything words can describe as she effortlessly expanded into Limitlessness.  There was a clear sense she was still with us, not as a cat, but as Pure Being.  Scott and I alternated between tears of sorrow and of joy.  Weeping freely naturally served to release false beliefs and open us to Truth.

Gatita was laid in the ground in a place I felt she had chosen and shown me a few days before.  Within the hour, a family of deer who often graze on the land around our home, walked along the path near where Gatita’s body was buried.  They seemed to know she was there.

After paying homage, they continued into our backyard as if carried by joyous sparkles, prancing and playing with each other.  Next, they rounded the other side of the house, pausing to munch on grass and bushes.  Eventually, the deer arrived on our front lawn, sat down and settled in.  Their presence was full of grace.  They sat in stillness for a long time.

The full circle that the deer completed around our house was unusual.  It symbolized to us that the essence of Gatita was Whole, Holy and fully present–and therefore, so are we.  The stillness and beauty of the deer was profoundly peaceful and undeniably confirming of Timeless Love.

The next morning I learned that Gatita departed this world on Guru Purnima, the most auspicious day of the year for Self-realization.  “Gu” is Sanskrit for “shadows” or “darkness” and “ru” means “he who disperses shadows” or “bringer of light.”

For ACIM students, the Guru is the Holy Spirit, your Inner Teacher. “Purnima” means full moon.  The nights before and after Gatita’s passing were brightly illuminated by the fullest of full moons.  Darkness dissolved in this resplendent light.

It is said that the Guru principle is one thousand times more active on this particular full moon than any other in the calendar.  This is symbolic, of course, and that’s what miracles are: symbols of Truth.  The best time to awaken is always now.

“Today the promise of God’s Word is kept.  Hear and be silent.  He would speak to you.  He comes with miracles a thousand times as happy and as wonderful as those you ever dreamed or wished for in your dreams.  His miracles are true. … Hear Him today and listen to the Word which lifts the veil that lies upon the earth, and wakes all those who sleep and cannot see.  God calls to them through you.”  (W-106: Let me be still and listen to the truth.)

God calls to us through Gatita, Who cannot die because she, like you and me, is Life.  “There is no living thing that does not share the universal Will that it be whole, and that you do not leave its call unheard.  Without your answer is it left to die, as it is saved from death when you have heard its calling as the ancient call to life, and understood that it is but your own.” (T-31.I.9:2)

Please watch this YouTube video, called A Happy Conversation About Death with David Hoffmeister.  Hopefully it will ease any grief you may be experiencing, and replace it with Timeless Love instead.

Click here to read the followup article:  Gatita’s Metamorphosis Into The Lady

If you are missing someone, you may find this article comforting: A Better Way to Say “I Miss You”

The “Gatita Sparkles” illustration was lovingly and beautifully drawn by Harper Wood.