Ask Amy: Are you the creator of your universe?

Q:  After working with the Course for several years, I take from it the message that I am the creator of my universe.  A dear friend of mine was killed in Syria recently.  Did I create this?  If I did, I don’t know how I can live with myself.

A:  Rest assured, you did not create the killing of your dear friend in Syria.  Only the ego thinks in terms of guilty responsibility, magical powers of influence, and the loss of life.  Jesus, in his Course in Miracles, would never put you through this kind of psychological agony.

The idea that you are the creator of your universe is a common misconception among Course students.  The primary mistake lies in not understanding who you really are.  Typically, every human, and therefore, every reader of ACIM, begins with the assumption that he or she is a body, identified as male or female, labeled with a name, assigned a role as son or daughter, and so on.  These designations are nothing more than ego brainwashing, layering assumption on top of assumption that the body is “you.”

But you are not a body.  God’s Creation is an extension of the Creator Himself — consequently, you are Spirit, not human.  Therefore, when referring to yourself, know that You are Imageless, Formless, Timeless, and Unified as God’s One Son.  It is not the little ego “you” who creates; the ego “you” mistakenly dreams and that is all.  The real You creates the way God creates: You naturally and effortlessly emanate Loving Light.

“Yet what is it except a game you play in which Identity can be denied?  You are as God created you.” (W-191)

The one collective ego mind (of which people appear to be individual fragments) is a terrorist dictatorship thought system.  The way out of this tyrannical, punitive, and vicious ego-mind cycle is to observe the ego with Jesus.  Then you discover the only reason the ego felt so real is that you believed in it, while forgetting it was nothing more than a passing idea in God’s Mind.

“In a split mind, identity must seem to be divided.” (T-27.II.11:1)

When you stop unconsciously denying your true Identity, it is revealed that as long as we seem to live in a world with others, the only sane choice is to follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance and be a miracle worker.  You will feel peaceful, comforted, liberated and illuminated, as you devote the body to serving God’s Will instead of reinforcing a false personal identity.

“It is impossible that God lose His Identity, for if He did, you would lose yours.” (T-14.XI.7:5)

Let us conclude with a prayer for your friend.  May he rest in God, at Home with his Father, enlightened and free in the recognition of his true Self.  Death can serve as one of the many doorways to Who we really are.  Happily for all of us, it is inevitable that everyone awaken to our God-Self, each in our own perfect moment.

“The word ‘inevitable’ is fearful to the ego, but joyous to the spirit.  God is inevitable, and you cannot avoid Him any more than He can avoid you.”  (T-4.I.9:10-11)

Note:  If you found this topic interesting, click here to read the Ask Amy column in the Jan/Feb 2015 issue of Miracles magazine, which delves into this same concept from a different angle.

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the March-April 2015 issue of Miracles magazine.  Miracles is a well-loved  staple in the ACIM community.  To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089.  To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Ask Amy: Grieving While Not Believing In Death

Q:  After Ken Wapnick passed away, you wrote on Facebook that you will cry as much as you need to.  Why do you feel like crying if you are truly applying the Course, which teaches us that death is not real?

A:  What I wrote on Facebook was, “Only his form is gone, but I will cry as much as I need to, even as my mind remains clear that Ken is always with us, always.”

Intellectually and intuitively I know that we are spirit, there is no death, there is no world, there is no body, and there is nothing to fear.  But I am not yet fully established in this Knowing.  Early in the Text we’re told, “The body is merely part of your experience in the physical world.  Those who [deny its existence] are engaging in a particularly unworthy form of denial.” (T-2.IV.3:8, 11)

When I heard that Ken had died, there was an immediate reaction in the body.  It could have reinforced the ego’s agenda, but because I was willing to use it for the Holy Spirit’s purpose it became a release from the belief in loss.

Tears came.  I didn’t fight them.  They were sweet with Love.  Somehow, there was a paradoxical experience of sorrow without pain.  The result is an increased conviction that we are a Oneness joined as One.

In Chapter 21 we are asked, “What if you looked within and saw no sin?  This ‘fearful’ question is the one the ego never asks.”  I looked, with the Holy Spirit, at the ache which moved through the human heart, the sense of disbelief that Ken could be dead because he had always been so youthful and healthy.

I looked at my concern for Gloria, his wife, and his staff at the Foundation for A Course in Miracles, who had been with him for almost 40 years.  I looked with the Holy Spirit and trusted that, “The Holy Spirit has the task of undoing what the ego has made.” (T-15.III.5:5)  Peace moved through my body with the quiet knowing that all is well.

I remember asking Ken if he missed Helen, and he said no, there was no need to miss her — she wasn’t gone.  I also asked him how he felt about his stutter, and he said it was nothing, he no longer gave it any thought.

Ken and I shared a similar background, both growing up in New York City, and both entering the fields of psychology and ministry.  To me, he’s “Uncle Ken,” the only family member who doesn’t think I’m crazy for knowing I’m not a person.  I speak in the present tense because there is no past and Ken lives in my heart.  His warmth, his wisdom, his humor — still here.

I turned to him many times to better understand and apply Course principles.  He helped me discern the voice of the ego from the Voice for God.  He helped me “get it” that we are a Mind, not a body; that we are Innocence, guilty of nothing.  He helped me when I first began formally teaching the Course.  The joke was that after I turned to Jesus, I double-checked with Ken.

“Within the dream of bodies and of death, is yet one theme of truth; no more, perhaps, than just a tiny spark, a space of light created in the dark, where God still shines.  And as you see [your brother] shining in the space of light where God abides within the darkness, you will see that God Himself is where his body is.” (T-29.III.3:1, 6)

This is how I choose to see Ken.  As he himself says in his YouTube video called Q & A: Death, “You never were in the body.  What happens when you die is nothing.”

Click here to read my interview with Ken Wapnick.

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the March-April 2014 issue of Miracles magazine.  Miracles is a well-loved  staple in the ACIM community.  To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089.  To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Ask Amy: How to Maintain Peace of Mind When with Your Mother?

Q:  I love my mother, but she is hard to be around.  Everyone agrees she is very critical and demanding.  How can I apply Course principles to maintain my peace of mind when I am with her?

A:  For so many of us, mothers are our greatest challenge!  Actually, as obvious as it may be to you (and others) that your mother is critical and demanding, it is your interpretation.  “It is always an interpretation that gives rise to negative emotions, regardless of their seeming justification as what appears as facts.” (M-17.4:2)

To apply Course principles to maintaining peace of mind with your mother, you must give your relationship with the Holy Spirit first priority.  This means confiding in Him all the time.  How easily we forget that we are not alone — the Holy Spirit is always within us.

Begin by observing with Him what you are feeling when your mother pushes your buttons.  “You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is merely a veil drawn over intense fury.” (W-21)  Under that fury lies a broken heart — on the worldly level we all want to feel loved by our mothers.  But remember, the memory of God within you predates your mother!

As you get upset with your mother, give every feeling to the Holy Spirit.  Hold nothing back: you might wish she were dead, want to cry like an infant, or tantrum like a two-year-old.  In addition, notice your yearning to love and protect your mother.  We humans are contradictory creatures.  Allowing contradictory feelings is liberating and restores true empathy and innocence.  Inevitably, guilt will come up, but when you observe with the Holy Spirit, He undoes the judgment that leads to guilt.  Be willing to feel all your feelings without guilt.

As you allow your awareness of the Holy Spirit to increase in your mind, you will view what you experienced as criticality and demandingness as a call for Love.  The Holy Spirit will use you to deliver loving miracles.  To paraphrase T-18.VII., you need do nothing, except not to interfere with the Holy Spirit’s communication.  This is the forgiveness practice that leads to inner peace.

Both you and your mother are calling for Love.  By entering into a holy relationship with the Holy Spirit, you transform your special relationship with your mother into a holy encounter.  Expect to be happily surprised by your new responses to her.

To review, put your relationship with the Holy Spirit first; give your feelings to Him; be honest; receive His guidance; and open to experiencing your feelings without guilt.  Peace of mind is your God-given inheritance — who better to practice with than your mother?

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the Jan-Feb 2014 issue of Miracles magazine.  Miracles is a well-loved  staple in the ACIM community.  To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089.  To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com

Ask Amy: The Body As Repository for Unconscious Thought or Communication Link?

Q:  I’ve been told by a couple of people that I need to get out of my head and into my FEELINGS and work on healing using the body as a “portal.”  I know you did a workshop recently that had to do with ACIM and the body.  I would like to gain insights and healing through/by using the body.  I’m also wondering how you’ve worked with your own body to grow spiritually, and how you meld that with ACIM’s view of “the body”?

A: I love how A Course in Miracles reverses (un-reverses, really) everything!  For instance, in order to be free of the body, we need to embrace the body.  Many of us are too much in our heads and benefit from bringing our body experience into our awareness and then integrating its energies into our daily lives.  In that way, anger, for example, is embraced as fire energy, and becomes a motivating force rather than a divisive one.

I think of the body as the repository for unconscious thoughts.  Body-oriented psychotherapy led to my spiritual awakening.  For me, and many of the clients with whom I’ve worked, breathing through feelings brings the ego into our conscious awareness and then we release guilt, fear, grief, shame, anger, pain, etc.

Giving our thoughts and feelings to the Holy Spirit is the ACIM forgiveness practice.  Definitions are dismantled. Judgment is dropped.  Assigning meaning is relinquished.  Sinking into bodily sensation takes us through the viscera, into the cellular structure, DNA and beyond … eventually we melt into pure Joining.  This usually takes practice because the ego will sense its demise and throw up resistance.

A portal is a gateway to knowledge.  The Holy Spirit can use the body as a vehicle for God’s Love to be extended in the world; a communication link through which miracles flow.  “The body is the means by which God’s Son returns to sanity,” is what we’re told in W-Pt II.5: What Is the Body? (which is worth reading and re-reading).

The body becomes a symbol of unity and forgiveness rather than personal identity and personal satisfaction.  We can maintain the body like a car, using it well until the time it is no longer necessary, and, little by little, dis-identifying with it.  Rather than “my” body, try saying “the” body.  This needs to be done with the Holy Spirit’s help or it becomes a particularly unworthy form of denial and dissociation, rather than true perception and loving detachment.

We are also told in more than 20 lessons in the Workbook, “I am not a body.  I am free.  For I am still as God created me.”  Yet Lesson 353 clearly directs us:

My eyes, my tongue, my hands, my feet today
Have but one purpose; to be given Christ
To use to bless the world with miracles.

ACIM explains that we each have an individualized curriculum, and once we are willing to choose the Holy Spirit’s purpose for our body, His wisdom will prevail in the form that best suits you.  For me, I often experience the present memory of God through yoga and chakra work.

There is a feeling that God’s Loving Light pours in through my crown chakra, circulates within the body and then radiates through my limbs and skin, brightening my presence which then shines on my brothers.

NOTE:  Since I wrote this article, it has become clear that That which brightens “my” presence, is the Presence the little “me” ego-mind/time-body lives within.  “I am” is the name that precedes all names and forms.   In other words, that which lives in the body is that which the body lives within.

This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the Nov-Dec 2013 issue of Miracles magazine.  Miracles is a well-loved  staple in the ACIM community.  To get a subscription, email [email protected] or call 845-496-9089.  To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com