A New Measurement of Love

“Would you not have the instruments of separation reinterpreted as means for salvation, and used for purposes of love?” (T-18.VI.5:1)

I was raised with the understanding that love is measured by how devastated you feel when someone dies.  Inconsolable grief was a demonstration of depth of feeling and loyalty to the departed.

In fact, pain was a tie that kept the relationship between the deceased and the living “alive.” To stop feeling pain was to be a callous monster.

Guilt turned out to be an intrinsic part of all love relationships, whether dead or living.  Guilt was an ongoing barometer of how often I fell short of loving well, and the punishing consequences of my inadequacy and/or selfishness.

Such is the nature of human love.  There are always conditions and loss.

However, after studying A Course in Miracles for a while (along with 12-step work and psychotherapy), I began to realize that giving on human terms was supporting conditional love rather than unconditional love.  It was also enabling me to maintain ego control rather than developing faith in relying on my Inner Teacher.

What a relief to discover my true purpose, “Everyone has a special part to play in the Atonement, but the message given to each one is always the same; God’s Son is guiltless.”   (T-14.V.2:1)

Ego tempted me with the idea that accepting innocence (when I was convinced I had done something wrong) would be the equivalent of not having a conscience. Or that if I forgave someone when he had clearly done something wrong that I would be encouraging or enabling cruelty and its results.

But Jesus so clearly explains in A Course in Miracles that our original state is Innocence and Innocence can only beget Love, that he changed my mind.  My attention moved from ego madness to Jesus sanity, as he explained, “Your only calling here is to devote yourself, with active willingness, to the denial of guilt in all its forms.” (T-14.V.3:4)

I embraced this “active willingness” and it removed the deep-seated guilt that plagued me, gently excised the judgment that condemned me, and in the process released all my brothers as well.  People make mistakes and mistakes deserve Correction.  Turning to the Holy Spirit always provides a loving Answer.

For almost 20 years now, rather than using relationships as instruments of separation, I have used them for the purpose of love.  My new measurement of Love has withstood the test of time and experimentation with real humans.  Love inevitably leads to Timelessness and shifts the human to the Being.

It should be no surprise God’s Love turns out to be Innocent, non-judgmental, non-obligatory, non-expectant, bargain-free, no contracts, freely given and received, easy and natural, overflowing with generosity, and always alive.  For God’s Love can never die, nor betray, nor harm.  And we are an extension of God’s Love.

Let’s practice together!  Watch and listen to Amy reading each ACIM Lesson on Youtube.  Also, check out Workin’ the Workbook, Amy’s online class which supports the ACIM Workbook practice.