Lesson 21: I am determined to see things differently.
The word “determined” is discouraging for me. Determination is not a strong part of my temperament. Let me contemplate what I just said for a moment … determination means not to be deterred. Not to be thrown off course. Mine is not a stubborn personality; my head is closer to the clouds than my feet to the ground. My grounding technique is to have a kitty cozily planted in my lap, as is the case right now. Complete with blissful purrs.
Lesson 21 becomes possible when I change the word “determined” to “willing,” Jesus forgive me 🙂 I am willing to see things differently.
Why did this not bother me yesterday? Lesson 20, “I am determined to see,” did not seem so demanding. Jesus simply explained, “Your decision to see is all that vision requires.” A change of mind felt possible. Determination feels forced. Yesterday, Jesus said, “Yet you will not see if you regard yourself as being coerced, and if you give in to resentment and opposition.”
I guess the way I’m feeling resentment and opposition is that I feel set up for failure when he pushes determination in today’s lesson. I am willing to see things differently works for me. I feel open and receptive instead of striving willfully. Also, it is possible to read “determined” as “destined.” It is predetermined that I shall see differently as I learn to discern the false from the True.
