31 Aug 2015 Comments Off on Ask Amy: Death of Child
Q: In a workshop, I heard you say that the loss of a child could be the best thing that ever happened. Initially I was shocked. I don’t see how a parent could ever think this, but being a Course student for five years, I keep an open mind. Can you explain?
A: Your question cuts to the quick, and therefore offers huge potential for healing. First, notice how ego changes what was said just a little bit, so little it seems inconsequential. The actual phrase used was, “Every moment, no exceptions, is the best moment of your life.” Ego distorts, misinterprets and misses the point – that’s its job. It does this to maintain its false identity.
Your open mind provides the space for the miracle. “It is to this unsealed and open mind that truth returns, unhindered and unbound.” (T-31.V.17:3) The “best moment” is a timeless moment. The timeless moment is what the Course calls a holy instant.
“The holy instant is this instant and every instant. … Delay it not. For beyond the past and future, where you will not find it, it stands in shimmering readiness for your acceptance.” (T-15.IV.1:3-8)
The holy instant reveals you are not the body but the One Eternal Formless Self. There is no pain or loss here. There is no memory here. There is no personal identity here. There is no “untimely death” here. Jesus tells us 20 times in the Course, “Brother, there is no death.” and who is better qualified to assure us of this than he?
To the ego, this is outrageous and heartless. When in the throes of grief, this may seem impossible to grasp. But this is the perfect time to rely on the Holy Spirit. Give Him your tears, your shattered dreams, your rage, your guilt, your agony. This clears a space to receive the miracles that surely follow. You may or may not recognize them, depending on the openness of your mind. Either way, healing occurs.
The ego believes in loss; the Holy Spirit reminds you that you are Whole. The ego declares you are form; the Holy Spirit reminds you that you are Spirit. The ego wants you to witness to form: obviously you are a body. Jesus witnesses to Content: obviously you and your child are deathless Life. “The holy instant is the Holy Spirit’s most useful learning device for teaching you love’s meaning. For its purpose is to suspend judgment entirely.” (T-15.V.1:1-2)
A Course in Miracles is about shifting from the human point of view, which we take for granted as the only point of view, to recognizing what you really are. You are not a person; you are Spirit. God is not other than you; God is your Self. This is revealed in the holy instant, which offers us glimpses of Timelessness. Glimpses eventually stabilize as Vision. The Holy Spirit uses time for holy instants until they culminate in the Atonement – the final undoing; the recognition that the separation never occurred.
“There may come a time when you thank God for your difficulties,” says the contemporary mystic, Mooji, “because that pain led you to God.” The death of a child can be viewed as a devastating tragedy or an opportunity to awaken.
Please feel free to continue this inquiry with me; more questions may arise as your contemplation deepens.
Recommended Reading: Self-Concept versus Self (T-31.V); The Holy Instant and Special Relationships (T-15.V); The Bridge to the Real World (T-16.VI); This Is the Best Moment of Your Life by Amy Torres
This Q&A appears in the Ask Amy column from the Sept-Oct 2015 issue of Miracles magazine. Miracles is a well-loved staple in the ACIM community. For a subscription, email Jon@miraclesmagazine.org or call 845-496-9089. To ask Amy a question, email miracles (at) amytorresacim (dot) com
Copyright © 2015 Amy Torres. All rights reserved worldwide.