Undoing the Ego

03 May 2013 Comments Off

How I Rose with Dignity, After Falling on My Face

This is a story about me actually, literally, falling on my face. I was crossing Broadway at a very crowded intersection in New York City, when the toe of my shoe caught in the leg of my pants, and down I went! Flat on my face, kissing the black asphalt, and an army of cars about to roll right over me. Luckily, the light was red. Unluckily, my body remained unmoving. The light turned green, and taxi, SUV and garbage truck drivers pressed their gas pedals and commenced in my direction. Did they see me laying on my stomach in their path?

traffic congestion Despite impending danger, I felt devoid of fear and quiet of mind. Glancing up, I saw several people headed toward me. I was aware that in the past, I would have felt mortified at being so clumsy, disruptive, and in need of help. My style of perfectionism was to remain unnoticed, and a smooth quick death under the wheels of oncoming traffic would have almost been preferable to being noticed and helped. At this moment, however, their approach produced a warm feeling in me. There was the merest twinkle of embarrassment and then it evaporated as a thought arose, “It’s my turn.”

The rhythm of the traffic responded to my predicament–the lively allegro of pressured drivers switched to an unhurried adagio, allowing fearless pedestrians to intercede on my behalf. Hands reached out to me, and lifted me gently to my feet. I was disoriented, but it was a relaxed and pleasant sensation–if it was a sensation at all.

Mooji gentle smile One face in particular came close to mine and asked, “Are you okay?” “I don’t know,” I replied honestly, rather than stoically brushing him off and finding out later whether I was, indeed, okay. “Would you like me to stay with you a bit?” he offered. “Yes, please,” I replied. The circle of people which had gathered around me melted away as he took over. I had felt their love as they gathered, and I felt their love as they dispersed. Everyone and everything felt caring. The world was at my disposal–I was Loved.

The “stranger”* who was staying with me for a bit, looked into my eyes. I gazed back into his. A timeless love flowed between us. There was no hurry. And despite being on a very busy, crowded street corner in Manhattan, neither of us felt jostled or as if we were a nuisance to others. We were Together.

Many times I had been the one to hold out my hand to another who was in need. Many times I had assured people there was no need to be embarrassed and it was good to accept help. Now it was my turn. I accepted the Invitation to be Rumi lisa dietrich with what was happening exactly as it was. I fell down. I lay there. I judged not. I assigned no interpretation. I held no opinions. Thoughts stopped. And the whole world, in concert, came to my rescue.

Every person and every driver was my savior. The Dance choreographed Itself around me, and then lifted me Up and safely set me Down totally in Love with the players who joined me in a portion of the dream. I wasn’t rescued from bodily harm. I was rescued from believing in bodily harm. I wasn’t rescued from losing my “life”. I was rescued from feeling the shame that keeps us believing in a false life which perpetuates a silly dream the ego insists is real.

What a blessing to fall on my face and uncover the dignity and grace that abides beneath the disguise of human frailty.

*I used a photograph of Mooji, a contemporary mystic, to represent the stranger who helped me, because the look in his eyes captures the steady calm and unconditional generosity I felt from that person. And I put quotation marks around the word stranger to denote there are no strangers. “God is not a stranger to His Sons, and His Sons are not strangers to each other.” ~A Course in Miracles, T-3.III.6:3

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

19 Apr 2013 Comments Off

Developing Great Listening Skills

Have you ever been talking to someone who is looking around the room while you speak? Or who interrupts you to say something on a completely different subject? Maybe you were confiding in a friend who seemed distracted and when you accused her of not listening, she said indignantly, “I was listening!” and to prove it she parroted back the last phrase you had spoken.

There is a difference between listening and technically hearing what is said. Hearing what is said takes short term memory-it only indicates that on a surface level you took in their words but didn’t join emotionally with the person speaking to you.

Men tend to be better listeners than women because generally they can tolerant silence better. Women are better listeners than men in that they are more comfortable sharing emotions. Men need to learn how to be more emotionally available and responsive. Women need to learn how to be supportive through their presence rather than talking too much.

Becoming a better listener means becoming a better person because it cultivates emotional maturity and generosity. Is it possible to become a great listener? Yes it is. Let’s look at 8 ways you can develop great listening skills.

1. Be interested. Many people think listening means keeping quiet until it is their turn to talk. But true listening is a selfless act. Listening means giving your thoughtful attention to another person. This attention is non-judgmental, open-minded, respectful and curious.

2. Listening is receiving. We are receiving the trust and vulnerability of another person. To be a receiver, let yourself be a blank canvas for the other person. Allow your friend to toss out ideas, feelings, contradictory thoughts, and whatever else is coming up. Let her be upset or illogical.

3. Indicate you’re listening with subtle cues. Let the person know that you’re interested by nodding your head, murmuring “mmm hmmm,” and softly echoing a word or short phrase here and there.

4. Attuning and matching. A good listener usually makes eye contact, but might also sit companionably side by side and gaze straight ahead, allowing the talker privacy and intimacy at the same time. Attune yourself to the person talking to you by noticing the degree of eye contact they are making with you and match them. For instance, if the person seems self-conscious and looks down or away a lot, drop your gaze as well from time to time. This way she will feel accepted rather than scrutinized. If she is animated and leaning towards you, lean towards her. Pick up on her rhythm, her body language. Psychological research has found that people feel understood when we use the same gestures they use. This helps them to feel safe and relaxed.

5. Wait for an organic pause. Try not to interrupt-it’s an amazing gift to provide enough space for someone to let it all out. When there is a lull, and the person seems to have unburdened themselves, that will be the time to speak. When I was a student in Gestalt psychotherapy training, I would eagerly jump in while clients were still talking and a fellow student told me that I wasn’t waiting for the “organic pause”–that natural breath between spoken thoughts that opens the door to another voice chiming in. I came from a cultural background where we were used to interrupting each other’s interruptions, and it wasn’t unusual for five conversations to be going on at the same time. Even if this is acceptable socially, it doesn’t work when someone really needs a shoulder to cry on, or in a work situation, if a colleague needs to resolve professional issues.

6. Acknowledge and empathize. Good listening is not complete silence. When the time comes to speak, briefly reiterate to the person what you heard them say. For example, “It sounds like you’re really upset with your boyfriend for having lunch with his ex. If I were you I’d feel the same way.” or “I know you really wanted that promotion and I don’t blame you for feeling it was unfair that the new guy got it.” By reflecting back to the person what they said in their own words, you are acknowledging you heard them accurately. And by saying you might feel the same way, you are putting your foot in their shoe and empathizing with them. The emotional tone of what you say should be responsive rather than reactive. In other words, while you’re listening take note of what’s coming up for you and put it on a back shelf. Sort out what is useful for the person who is confiding in you and, for now, keep your own emotions and opinions to yourself.

7. Don’t give unasked for advice. Most of us have not been listened to in the way I’m describing, so we’re not used to listening to someone else this way. We may consider ourselves very nice people and have all kinds of good ideas for the person speaking to us about their problem. What we don’t realize is that offering solutions before a person has expressed their upset feelings doesn’t work. Do you want to be told what to do while you’re venting?

8. Make an offering. After acknowledging and empathizing, you have the option of offering something more. It can be something simple like, “How can I help?” or “Would you like some feedback from me?” Chances are your friend feels relieved and solutions are starting to form within her now that she’s cleared a space inside herself. Don’t be surprised if your good listening facilitates her having a revelation about herself or the situation. She may tell you that you’ve done more than enough already! If she does want feedback, this is your opportunity to share your experience and offer advice. Timing is everything-wait until you’re invited.

What’s in it for you? Great listeners are receivers-they receive trust, they are in an honored position in that way. They help people sort out their thoughts and feelings. Listeners offer solace and consolation. They celebrate and appreciate good news or achievements. And in the process, listeners receive the gratification of being there for someone else. Listeners have cultivated patience to wait until another person has talked themselves out-and have discovered that people often find their own answers to their struggles. So listening develops faith in us that people have an inner intelligence and we don’t have to be mini-Gods and fix everyone’s problems by jumping in and talking too much or too soon. By developing great listening skills, we provide a mirror that reflects back to the person speaking what is inside of them, and that is powerfully rewarding for both of us.

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Undoing the Ego

25 Mar 2013 Comments Off

It’s Easter–Time to Wake Up!

Easter is here and A Course in Miracles invites us to celebrate this holiday without the church as middleman. Jesus tells us, “Let us give redemption to each other and share in it, that we may rise as one in resurrection, not separate in death.”

The world considers it a miracle that Jesus rose from the grave. Jesus tells us not to be duped by this ego-serving interpretation. He also tells us that his crucifixion was merely an extreme example of something we do everyday: carry the cross.

Yes, all our daily grievances effectively block the miracle of Innocence, Unity and Love that is our true Self. If you still have a taste for sin, guilt and fear, pain, alienation and hatred, sorrow, loss and shame, carry on! But if you’ve been studying the Course long enough to “get it” even a little bit, set your alarm clock for the holy instant instead, and, this Easter, lay that rugged cross down.

The crucifixion was quite an event–what a shame if we entirely miss the point! As Jesus says, “The only message of the crucifixion is that you can overcome the cross. Until then you are free to crucify yourself as often as you choose. This is not the gospel I intended to offer you.” (T-intro.3:8-10) and “You cannot crucify yourself alone. … Whenever you consent to suffer pain, to be deprived, unfairly treated or in need of anything, you but accuse your brother of attack upon God’s Son. … The Holy Spirit offers you, to give to him, a picture of yourself in which there is no pain and no reproach at all. And what was martyred to his guilt becomes the perfect witness to his innocence.” (T-27.I.1:5 and 3:1 and 5)

Let’s not sabotage Jesus’ effort to show us that there is no need for guilt, and death is not real. Let’s stop playing the crucifixion game and focus on ACIM’s definition of resurrection instead. In the Manual for Teachers, resurrection is defined as a change of mind about the meaning of the world. The ego wants us to believe that it has overcome God and is being pursued by a vengeful Father. This delusional thinking is easily undone by the Holy Spirit–when we ask for His Help.

Make this Easter truly meaningful by responding to Jesus’ invitation, “This week begins with palms and ends with lilies, the white and holy sign the Son of God is innocent. Let no dark sign of crucifixion intervene between the journey and its purpose; between the acceptance of the truth and its expression. This week we celebrate life, not death. And we honor the perfect purity of the Son of God, and not his sins. Offer your brother the gift of lilies, not the crown of thorns; the gift of love and not the ‘gift’ of fear. You stand beside your brother, thorns in one hand and lilies in the other, uncertain which to give. Join now with me and throw away the thorns, offering the lilies to replace them.” (T-20.I.2:1-6)

Now all of us rise together to the Home we never left. white lily on white background

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

25 Feb 2013 Comments Off

Five Steps to Cultivating Your Relationship with the Holy Spirit

hand Cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit is the simplest, most natural thing in the world. It is the most satisfying relationship you will ever have, and it will result in all your human relationships improving immensely. Though it may seem elusive, this relationship is right here, right now. The key to making contact with the Holy Spirit is letting go of the ego self, or what the Course calls, “undoing” and “unlearning.” Here are five steps that always work–even if you don’t discern results for a while. Keep them up and the Holy Spirit will be revealed to you.

1. Be willing. Another way of saying this is, “Step back and let the Holy Spirit lead the way.” Willingness is pretty easy, because even if you are not willing, you can be willing to be willing. That’s good enough. Just to be sure you really mean it, say aloud, “Holy Spirit, I am willing to be in relationship with You. Help me develop our relationship.” Breathe. Take a full inhale and exhale. Then say it again–as many times as feels right.

Think of “willingness” as connecting your will with God’s Will–like plugging into a Power Source, just as you do with electrical appliances and your cell phone. Willingness grows naturally after that, because once you’re connected to God’s Will, you are connected to an unstoppable Loving Force. A tiny, sincere willingness begins the process of cultivating your relationship with the Holy Spirit.

antennae drawing 2. Tune In. Once you’ve stated your willingness to yourself and the Holy Spirit, consciously choose to tune in. Just as you would adjust the dial on a radio to get clear reception, do the same in your own mind. Focus your attention on the memory of God within you–it is there. The Course calls this memory the Holy Spirit. Draw your attention to something within you that Knows. This can happen quickly–in a holy instant. Trust that your intention is enough to help you tune in, even if it feels like nothing happened.

Lesson 124 tells us, “Your benefit will not be less if you believe that nothing happens. You may not be ready to accept the gain today. Yet sometime, somewhere, it will come to you, nor will you fail to recognize it when it dawns with certainty upon your mind.” In the Preface, Jesus tells us that “return to God [is] not only possible, but inevitable,” and in Chapter 4, “God is inevitable, and you cannot avoid Him anymore than He can avoid you.” And there are many more assurances of this kind throughout A Course in Miracles.

3. Establish Connection. Now that you’ve tuned in, it’s time to establish a lasting connection with your Internal Teacher, as Helen Schucman, the scribe of ACIM, referred to the Holy Spirit. How? Notice what comes to you … what ideas enter your mind? Ideas will probably not be logical, linear thoughts. For me, establishing connection has a lot to do with body language.

Throughout the day, I often find that lengthening up my spine creates space between my vertebrae, which invites my head to align over my shoulders (rather than poking forward) and results in the crown of my head tingling. This tingling is a receptive feeling which naturally leads to connection with the Holy Spirit. Tingling is my kinesthetic equivalent to what other people call, “seeing energy.” I feel energy.

ACIM doesn’t talk about energy, but it does speak of an “individualized curriculum” where each student has their own unique process of awakening. The process simply reminds us that there is more than meets the eye, and returns us to our “spiritual eye” so to speak. In Chapter 2 we’re told, “Spiritual vision can literally not see error, and merely looks for Atonement” (which is the undoing of error, the Holy Spirit’s Correction to the ego’s mistake). For me, feeling energy is clearly undoing my identification with the seeming solidity of flesh and blood as my identity. Rumi lisa dietrich

4. Open to Guidance. Now that your connection is established, open to Guidance. If “connection” could be visualized as holding hands with Spirit, then Guidance is receiving direction. Let your Internal Teacher lead you by the hand.

kids fall down Again, for me, at times this has been physical. Doing the Sufi turn, like the whirling dervishes do, has unwound me many times. But if this seems too esoteric, remember as little kids most of us spun around recklessly until, giggling and dizzy, we collapsed on the ground. Don’t rule out anything as a spiritual practice. I’ve also often had the experience of speaking or writing something that was beyond me … the minute the words came out, it was clear they contained wisdom that was not little Amy’s.

And, of course, there are the wonderful synchronicities that occur in mundane circumstances. Just driving in the car, I’ve received many messages–songs on the car radio, license plates with telegraphic messages, road signs, and more. These often reinforce something I’ve suspected I need to do, but haven’t quite had the courage to follow through. It’s not taking the action that is important–it is being reminded that I have nothing to fear because the peace of God lives within me.

5. Stop & Listen. Even though God is an unstoppable force, we have to stop blocking Him before He can flow through us. In order for the Holy Spirit to lead the way, we need to stop. Stop “doing,” stop talking, stop directing, stop tensing, stop clenching and bunting and resisting–for just one moment. A moment is all it takes for Timelessness to replace time (in other words, to allow the holy instant to arise).

blurry Most people have trouble with this until they get the hang of it. It is a fear/control issue. One way to sidestep the fear is to gaze out into the distance and “trance.” This is also something we all did as children. Let your eyes de-focus. Allow the world to grow blurry and recede … there is Something Else in your mind … let it appear. Now listen. Open your mind and receive what is already yours. Receive the Love, Peace and Joy that is always within you. Just for a moment, release control by suspending all judgment. The ongoing Beingness which you already are will arise naturally.

Over and over again, the Course tells us to listen. “Listen today and you will hear a Voice which will resound throughout the world through you.” (Song of Prayer); “Listen and you will learn how to remember what you are.” (T-10.V.11:7); one of my favorites, “Be not afraid today to circumvent the voices of the world. Walk lightly past their meaningless persuasion. Hear them not. Be still today and listen to the truth.” (Lesson 106); and last, but not least, “If you cannot hear the Voice for God, it is because you do not choose to listen.”

This last quote leads us right back to #1: Be willing. Cultivating a relationship with your Holy Spirit is a circular, right-minded process that defies ego logic and can never fail. Give these five steps a try, and let me know how it goes for you.

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

12 Feb 2013 Comments Off

The Parental Disapproval Syndrome

If you are A Course in Miracles student, you know that being a parent is one big set-up. Babies aren’t innocent–they have chosen the ego as their teacher and so their experience will proceed accordingly. In other words, they have to be dissatisfied with their parents. Children have to feel victimized, no matter how idyllic their childhood may have been–and most are not so lucky. Here in the dream, the parent-child dynamic is perfect proof that life is unfair. The article below is a classic written by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray, and gives some useful explanation of what the parental disapproval syndrome produces in the world.

The Parental Disapproval Syndrome
by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray (Rebirthing in the New Age p. 59)

The Parental Disapproval Syndrome is another major cause of fear and negative programming. The syndrome develops as a result of your parents’ experiencing disapproval from their parents and their resentment of that disapproval. But they were not able to get even verbally or physically, so their true feelings were suppressed. They didn’t receive enough love and affection and found their parents difficult to please. So they spent the rest of their lives trying to get even with their parents or trying to please them to win their love. They constantly had to perform and conform according to their parents’ instructions in a futile attempt to win their love. This is later transferred to employers, authority figures, and “society.” They found little satisfaction until they had children (you). Then they had a captive child who was defenseless against parental hostilities and often coerced into giving them affection when the parents desire it.

To sum it up, parents take out their hostility toward their parents on their children (you). The spirit of the child is broken. Then you, as a child, have to suppress your true feelings until you have children and you take out your anger on yours—it goes on from generation to generation.

The fact is, you were a divine being when you came out of the womb.* Your parents began to disapprove of you and you resented it. But you couldn’t resist them or get even because you didn’t have a big enough vocabulary or a big enough body. The only way you could get even was to do what they disapproved of, which caused more disapproval. So you kept the disapproval syndrome going until you decided you could not win. Eventually you gave up and surrendered your loyalty to your divine nature and decided to follow instructions. So you followed instructions for the rest of your life. And when you got old enough to move out of the house, your parents (after they had invalidated your creativity, initiative, and natural wisdom) kicked you out and said, “Now is the time to succeed.” Then you went out and looked for somebody to give you instructions. That is the reason most people find employers and why people find mates. Hopefully, when you get married you will finally have found somebody who knows how to give you instructions, somebody who will solve all your problems, make all your decisions and plan your life for you. And, they don’t do it! Your mate doesn’t do it because he or she is expecting the same of you.

Behind that desire to have you plan their life for them, mates will express their hostility toward you. “Falling in love” is the hope that you have finally found a parental substitute. If you suppress your hostility successfully enough, then you will have a successful relationship. If you suppress your hostilities long enough in the relationship, then the relationship may last long enough to end in marriage. If you continue to suppress your hostility long enough, then your marriage might last long enough to have children. Guess what happens then? You get even with the bastards. You get even with your parents by taking it out on your kids. (It is obvious that people inhejit at least a portion of the subconscious minds of their parents as well as their bodies. In fact, financial and marital relationships usually follow the parents’ behavior so exactly that it almost seems mechanical.) The ultimate knowledge is self-knowledge and the ultimate freedom is internal freedom.

There are several vehicles by which the parental disapproval syndrome is transmitted. Three of the most popular are bedtime, mealtime and toilet training. You came out of the womb with “divine” energy and you probably didn’t need to sleep a whole lot. But your parents taught you that you do need to sleep a whole lot. Sleep is related to the birth trauma and to being in the womb. When you came out of the womb and all hell broke loose, you learned that the world outside the womb was a hostile place. You have gone through the rest of your life protecting yourself from a hostile world during your waking hours. After running around all day protecting yourself, you experience enough tension so that you get tired and you want to go to bed—you have reached the point of not being able to cope, which develops as an addiction. You want some rest from the world, so you go back into the womb/bedroom. You turn off the lights to make it dark, as it was in the womb. You crawl under the covers, which simulate the pressure of the walls of the womb and raise your body temperature. Then you go into a state of preverbal-like consciousness called sleep. So by going to bed you have recreated the womb experience. If you stay in bed long enough, your bed becomes a hostile place. It is hostile because your parents disapprove of your staying in bed too long, and they will come after you with sticks.

There is a lot of unpleasantness connected with bed; it is no wonder that some people have difficulty having fun in bed. It can be an unpleasant place, just as the bedroom is uncomfortable because children also get punished by being sent to their rooms. They go there and feel unloved. So it turns out later that those people can screw on Main Street and get off on sex in the back of the car, but in bed, no way! There is just too much tension and too much going on in the bedroom. It is better to make love on the dining room table, if the dining room table is a pleasant place. However, for most people, the dining room table was where they got all the bad news. Your parents criticized you for playing with your food and not cleaning your plate. Eating can make you nervous forever after.

Mealtime is the time when most kids get the bad news. That’s when you learn if you don’t clean up your plate you are not loved. So whenever people feel anxiety they go “clean up” a plate.

Then there is toilet training. Now if you had unpleasant toilet training and you go to the bathroom five or six times a day (and you “plug into” those unpleasant emotions every time you go to the bathroom), then it is no wonder you have difficulty ever being happy and experiencing bliss. Problems of constipation, diarrhea, etc., are probably all ultimately connected to your toilet training. I had one client whose mother was so obsessed with toilet training that he developed an anal fixation, became homosexual and could only get off sexually with anal intercourse. He took enemas constantly.

Being aware of parental disapproval is very valuable, because when you are disapproving you are just “running out” your parent, or replaying your parents’ tape. The idea is to express your hostility toward your parents and get it out. This will ultimately enable you to love them more. Otherwise, when your parents die, you experience failure. You never “got even” and now you are never going to get their love either. You feel disappointment for having suppressed your true nature and for not having gained their approval.

*From an ACIM perspective, babies are just as “guilty” of believing in a separate ego self as adults.

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Thank you Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray for your many insights into healing.

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Undoing the Ego

11 Feb 2013 Comments Off

Healing Sexual Abuse through A Course in Miracles

Ken Wapnick has an invaluable question and answer section at www.facimoutreach.org. Below is his explanation of how to heal sexual abuse through the forgiveness practice offered by A Course in Miracles.

Q: I am in my first year with A Course in Miracles. I was sexually molested as a child. The severe shame I feel from this has made relationships difficult. With each new failure to keep or maintain a relationship, they seem to become progressively more difficult. I don’t mind being in the constant process of forgiving the perpetrators. But my life struggle seems to be in sustaining forgiveness of myself. Is there any way I can address this specifically in my renewed relationship with God?

A: It is your ego that has convinced you that the shame you feel now is the result of those traumatic and shameful abusive experiences of your childhood. That way, the problem remains in the past, never really capable of being undone. But you are not alone in thinking this way. This is the purpose of the world, to keep our focus away from the real problem in the mind, the original and only source of guilt and shame, and on events in our lives that have happened to us and cannot be reversed.

This is not to say that those childhood experiences were not horrific or that you don’t continue to be haunted by thoughts related to those experiences. But what the Course offers you now is another way in the present of looking at all of that so that it need not maintain the grip on your life and your mind that it has up until now.

The guilt buried deep in our mind over the thought that we would want to and could separate ourselves from love is the real source of all of our shame. And it is a shame so severe that we believe that we do not deserve to be loved, that a lifetime beginning with abuse by those who are responsible for us is a fitting punishment for our “crime” of assaulting love. We carry the belief that we are somehow fatally flawed and that is the real cause of our shame.

But we never go back and look at that source of shame in our mind, where with the gentle support of Jesus, God’s symbol of love in our mind, we might begin to question the validity of that original self-accusation. Instead, we shift our focus to the world of bodies and the shame associated with being helpless and abused by others over whom we have no power or control. And then this seems to be the shame that poisons our whole life, and all the relationships we embark upon in search of the love that is missing that we yearn for. But the good news of the Course is that the problem is not where we are seeing it, in the world of bodies, but rather in our minds, where the solution — forgiveness — is as well.

And so this is where your renewed relationship with God and His representative, Jesus, and his Course, offers hope. For as you are willing to uncover the deeper ontological guilt and shame that your lifetime of personal shame is pointing to, looking at it with Jesus’ love beside you, you will gradually allow yourself to recognize that there is nothing to be ashamed of. For with his love there with you, you will begin to recognize that you have not abandoned or betrayed love, and love has not abandoned or betrayed you.

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Thank you, Ken, for the clarity and power of your prolific teachings on A Course in Miracles which have made being a Course student much easier for so many of us.

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, What is A Course in Miracles?

07 Feb 2013 Comments Off

Inexplicably Predictably Happy

Recently a phrase popped into my head, “Inexplicably predictably happy.” That’s one way I experience God–words come to me and I can tell they are not mine (some people call this “channeling”).

I was actually grieving at the time I “heard” those words, but even though I was grieving, I remembered to ask God to remind me of who I really was. In that moment, as I cried, I felt my heart expand and a peace move through me that was filled with joy. There was no logical explanation about why I needn’t grieve–I just felt at peace, even as I wept.

There was a smile inside me that said, “Inexplicably predictably happy” and I knew it to be True. “Inexplicably” because the joy of God is beyond words and explanations. “Predictably” because God is reliable, and if I ask Him for help, I will receive His help. “Happy” because God is full–full of joy, peace, love, eternal life, infinite creativity, and there is no way I cannot be happy because God’s treasures are my inheritance. Joy, peace, love, eternal life, infinite creativity are always mine–I just forget.

These days I remember my inheritance more and more and life is so interesting, full of wonderful surprises and beautiful people. I know that when I’m scared and overwhelmed that I’ve just forgotten Who I really am, and knowing that is a great comfort. Another name for the Holy Spirit is The Comforter, and He really is. When I accept Him, I am inexplicably predictably happy

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

29 Jan 2013 Comments Off

God’s Vision or the Ego’s Eyesight?

More than one spiritual path explains that this world is an illusion. Even science now agrees. But what do they mean? And if this world is an illusion, what good does it do us to know that?

This is especially of interest to Course in Miracles students. We are told right from the start, in the ACIM Preface, that “projection makes perception.” Another way the Course puts it is that our thoughts are “an outward picture of an inward condition.”

Workbook Lesson 15 explains, “My thoughts are images that I have made.” It teaches us, “It is because the thoughts you think you think appear as images that you do not recognize them as nothing. You think you think them, and so you think you see them. This is how your ‘seeing’ was made. This is the function you have given your body’s eyes. It is not seeing. It is image making. It takes the place of seeing, replacing vision with illusions.”

ACIM posits that we are hallucinating this world by projecting our imaginary ego thoughts outward. We are literally a figment of our own imagination.

Let’s break this down: “… the thoughts you think you think”–this tells you that what you consider thinking is not really thinking. What the ego (our sense of individual identity) does is replace God’s One Ever-Extending Loving Thought with images–imaginary thoughts that appear as pictures. You view these pictures and call them “eyesight.” You believe in them, but that does not make them real. The function the ego gives the body’s eyes is to hallucinate images which are not real to distract us from the Reality of God’s Vision which is Unified and Formless.

But why would the ego want to distract us from God’s Vision? Because the ego knows that if we re-discover this Abstract Creative Light within ourselves, the personal self as we know it will unravel and “die.” Within this “death” lies Eternal Life–but that’s not the way the ego sees it (pun intended). One scientist put it this way, “If you look at the universe through a golf ball-sized lens, you will see a universe the size of a golf ball.” The ego limits our experience, but denies that it does this.

Un-think your way through this. Tell yourself, “I do not really think. What I think are my thoughts are actually images the ego made. These images are neither good nor bad, they simply are not real. Would I rather think these puny little thoughts that lead to suffering and death, or would I rather gently peel these images from my eyes today, and truly see what God would have me see?” Ask God, “What would You have me see?” He will show you.

Then you can decide for yourself whether you prefer the image-making eyesight of the ego, or God’s Vision.

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

24 Jan 2013 Comments Off

A Course in Miracles and Yoga

A Course in Miracles offers us a highly individualized curriculum where we use the body as a learning device under the direction of the Holy Spirit. Yoga is one of the classrooms the Holy Spirit offers me, to use my body for spiritual purposes. ACIM provides a mind-training; therefore, all of its practices are in thought-form, or ideas. This can be challenging, since the body demands our attention all day long. Yoga offers a body-based sadhana, or spiritual practice, using the body and breath to reconnect with God’s Mind. This way, instead of letting the body run the show, we have concrete techniques so that the body serves the Mind.

“The body, valueless and hardly worth the least defense, need merely be perceived as quite apart from you, and it becomes a healthy, serviceable instrument through which the mind can operate until its usefulness is over.” W-135.

Most of us think of yoga as a physical practice, but the physical movements or asanas, known as hatha yoga, is but one of five yoga systems. (Hindu philosophy speaks of hatha yoga, raja yoga, bhakti yoga, jnana yoga, and karma yoga. Each of these systems can be used autonomously to realize God, or they can be used in combination.)

Yoga comes from the Sanskrit word “yuj” which means “to yoke” or “join” as in union with our brothers and communion with God. Swami Satchidananda defines yoga as “the science of mind” and explains that “the mind is a veil woven with thoughts.” Yoga is a system that helps us harness the mind, because as long as the ego mind gives us the runaround, we’ll remain unaware of the One Mind in which we all truly live.

Hatha Yoga
Hatha yoga is the physical movement of yoga, the asanas, or postures. The Rishis of five thousand years ago inadvertently “invented” hatha yoga when they surfaced from deep meditation and felt stiff. The stretching they did to limber up was based on what they saw around them in nature: they mimicked animals, mountains, and trees to loosen up and invigorate the body. Nowadays, hatha yoga is used as preparation for meditation. It can also be seen as a moving meditation in itself. When the movements are linked to the breath, and smooth transitions melt one pose into the next, the mind is smoothed also. By relaxing and strengthening the body, we calm the mind and are more able to harness our thoughts and concentrate, which leads to meditation.

ACIM is not strict about a formal ongoing meditation practice. “Nor is a lifetime of contemplation and long periods of meditation aimed at detachment from the body necessary. All such attempts will ultimately succeed because of their purpose. Yet the means are tedious and very time consuming, for all of them look to the future for release from a state of present unworthiness and inadequacy.” T-18.VII.4:9-11. Yoga is an unhurried, ancient practice based, to some extent, on an accumulation of good karma. It takes time to balance chakras, activate kundalini energy, and transcend the sheaths of the koshas.2 The Course is a refreshing counterbalance to yoga in this way: ACIM promises us over and over again that it will save us time. It provides a structured practice of meditation in the Workbook Lessons, but after that, we are on our own, listening to our Inner Teacher and using the Holy Instant to connect with Universal Mind as often as possible, and in our own way.

Bhakti Yoga
Bhakti yoga is a path of selfless devotion to God. Krishna’s gopis exemplified bhakti yoga. Gopi mean “cow- herding girl.” The story goes that when Krishna played his flute, gopi women dropped what they were doing, whether it was cooking, tending to the cows, or washing clothes. Everything would be left in the middle and the gopis would abandon their families to dance ecstatically around Krishna as he seduced them with his flute. At night, Krishna would visit every gopi, in a unique form just for her, and make love to her. Bhakti yoga has a quality of unreserved love and passion for God, a full faith that recognizes that God comes first above all others.

Mirabai, the thirteenth century mystic poet, valued her spiritual marriage to Krishna over her family’s arranged marriage for her. She spurned convention, surrendered entirely to her passion for Lord Krishna, and experienced Love alternately through knowing It, and yearning for It.

A Course in Miracles asks us for the same level of devotion. Lesson 157.5, “Into His Presence would I enter now” expresses it this way, “From this day forth, your ministry takes on a genuine devotion, and a glow that travels from your fingertips to those you touch, and blesses those you look upon.”

Jnana Yoga
Jnana yoga uses the study of scripture as a means to comprehend our true Self. What starts out as an intellectual pursuit deepens into a felt experience. Jnana uses inquiry to uncover meaning beneath meaning beyond meaning until the Self is revealed. The great sage and realized master Ramana Maharshi taught through the question, “Who am I?” This question, aimed at everything, takes us back to the Witness, the Observer, the Decision-Maker (in Ken Wapnick’s parlance). “It undoes the veils that the ego has interposed between its little slice of mind and its Source.

Jnana yoga helps us return to the decision-making part of our mind by stripping away the false self, layer by layer. “This single purpose creates perfect integration and establishes the peace of God.” T-3.II.5:6. Ultimately, the Course tells us to “Forget this world, forget this course, and come with wholly empty hands unto your God.” W-189; but, until we reach that point, immersing ourselves in scripture can be the royal road Home. Rather than be lost in the ego’s unconscious, we saturate ourselves in the Holy Spirit’s teachings.

Karma Yoga
Karma yoga is the yoga of taking action in the world through selfless service. It is a pure practice of brotherhood. It is the natural expression of the miracle, seeing Christ in everyone indiscriminately. It is the application of the Course concept of “generalization,” which, essentially, recognizes that all actions should be equally loving toward all people, places and things, because we are all the same. “You will recognize that you have learned there is no order of difficulty in miracles when you apply them to all situations. There is no situation to which miracles do not apply, and by applying them to all situations, you will gain the real world.” T-12.VII.1:3-4. And the way to do this is to see Christ in each other.

Raja Yoga
Patanjali, the sage who compiled the Yoga Sutras, lays out the path of raja yoga. Raja means royal and is considered a complete system. Its goal is to improve our concentration so we can move all our attention toward our Being in order to become that Being. Raja yoga is also called ashtanga yoga because of the eight limbs on which the system rests:

They are 1) Yamas, outward morality, consisting of non-harming, truthfulness, non-stealing, self- discipline and non-coveting 2) Niyamas, inner ethics, consisting of cleanliness, contentment, purification of body, mind and nervous system, study of metaphysical principles and self-examination, contemplation of God 3) Postures, or asanas 4) Control of breath and life currents, or pranayama 5) Withdrawal of the senses in order to turn within, or pratyahara 6) Concentration, or dharana 7) Meditation, or dhyana: prolonged periods of concentration which becomes contemplation and 8) Holy Trance, or samadhi, what the Course would call revelation, a direct experience of God.

As the Course says in the Clarification of Terms, “A universal theology is impossible, but a universal experience is not only possible but necessary.” ACIM also has a curriculum, and uses a text, workbook, and manual for teachers as its “limbs,” which, when used vigilantly, integrate its teachings and deepen our learning. The ACIM curriculum is not aimed at teaching Love or samadhi because that is beyond what can be taught and is naturally revealed as we remove the blocks to the awareness of Love’s presence.

The Yoga of ACIM
Though I was introduced to yoga first, along the way it became clear to me that ACIM is my path. The lack of ceremony and ritual, the lack of deities and complicated practices, suits me. I have a gypsy nature, which finds the “no baggage” style of the Holy Spirit alluring. Still, it comes naturally for me to practice ACIM hatha yoga, where I find my mind often goes pleasantly blank and I spontaneously experience the peace of God. And ACIM bhakti yoga emerged effortlessly too, as it became natural to devote the fruits of my practice to God. ACIM jnana yoga is the pleasure of reading and re-reading the Course, experiencing a deeper and deeper understanding as I do, as well as cultivating the relationship with my guru, my inner teacher, the Holy Spirit. ACIM raja yoga is applying the practices, the Workbook lessons, and allowing the Course to work through me as an integrated whole. ACIM karma yoga is seeing Christ in my brother.

It’s fun to reverse my upside-down perception simply by doing a headstand, and to evoke the holy instant by chanting “aum.” It’s fun “to let my words be chosen for me by ceasing to decide for myself what I’m going to say” (paraphrased from M-21). Recently, I heard myself giving a guided meditation to my yoga class during savasana inviting them to contact a glowing light within them that is always there, allowing it to permeate their bodies and then extend, radiating Its light through them, so that their very presence was a source of healing to all they came in contact with the rest of the day. “The light is in you,” I said, not realizing it was a line from Chapter 18, channeling straight through me. “You need do nothing except not to interfere,” I continued, transmitting Chapter 16 from the True Empathy section. The Light flowed through me on Its way to them.

In concluding, I say to you, “Namaste. The divine Light in me bows to the divine Light in you” or, in ACIM- speak, “You are one Self with me, united with our Creator in this Self. I honor you because of What I am, and What He is, Who loves us both as One.” Lesson 95.15:3.

———————————————
1 These are five well-known yogic systems. Kundalini yoga, tantric yoga, and kriya yoga are also frequently studied and applied, and the list goes on.

2 Yoga is a vast subject and there are countless books and online resources to explore karma, the chakras, kundalini energy and the koshas, as
well as many other esoteric topics, if you are so inclined. David Hoffmeister has an interesting chart in his book, Awakening Through A Course in Miracles, that maps the ego mind and the layers are remarkably similar to the koshas.

by admin in ACIM Body Image, Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom, What is A Course in Miracles?

22 Jan 2013 Comments Off

How the Homeless Made Me Feel at Home

A student of mine mentioned her encounters with homeless people and it brought to mind a spiritual experience I’d like to share with you.

She was sharing how defensive and guilty she feels during her walk downtown where there are lots of homeless people. I also felt guilty when I was living in New York City and there were many homeless on the streets. Some were mentally ill, some were HIV positive, some were out of work, some chose a life on the street.

Some had kittens, some had dogs, some owned a grocery cart overflowing with neatly bound bundles of stuff. Some hallucinated and shadow boxed. Some drank and sat in their own excrement. Many slept under cardboard boxes which made them invisible in broad daylight. Some smiled, some lashed out, some were dead silent and hid behind their sign. They all had the obligatory “begging cup.”

I got to know certain “regulars”–folks who would usually be planted in a particular spot. For the most part, all they required was, “Good morning!,” a splash of change in their coffee cup, and a smile. If they disappeared from their appointed spot, I would feel uneasy, concerned about them.

But more often, I felt guilty, and sometimes afraid, when I was around them–even if I gave money. I didn’t want to feel that way–and I was determined to let the fear and guilt evaporate. I just didn’t know how. My heart was open … it seemed that I needed less guilt and more courage in my gut. I began to feel increasingly irritated when I heard people say, “If I gave to all the homeless in NYC, I’d go broke!” Something about that didn’t ring true. In fact, it seemed a feeble excuse to look the other way.

One day, I decided to put that statement to the test. I started putting a dollar into every coffee cup I encountered. It turned out that it was quite affordable to give to all, everyday.

I felt less guilty, now that I was being true to myself. Often my encounters with the homeless were loving and uplifting. At first, the gratitude they showed embarrassed me, but then I realized it would do me good to accept their appreciation. As I relaxed and accepted their “thank yous” and “God bless yous” Love started to flow freely between us. In fact, homeless people blessed me on a regular basis.

Their smiles and blessings nurtured me and gave me a feeling of community. It was a time in my life when I was painfully lonely–I was homeless in my heart. The connection with people who literally didn’t have a roof over their heads, and more importantly, didn’t have a community that embraced them, pulled my heartstrings. I was having holy encounters with them, and being shown a perfect demonstration of the spiritual law, “Giving is Receiving.” All for a dollar!

After a while, something in me shifted. The next time I was faced with the second coffee cup of the day, out of my mouth popped, “I gave today.” I was met with a big smile and, “Bless you.” No hard feelings. This homeless person seemed to understand that I, too, had needs. A Message was communicated: do what you can, and everyOne will be okay if you continue to let go and let God. I went back to giving once a day for a while–this time, guilt-free.

Eventually, something in me shifted again. The next time the cup was proffered, I cheerfully, yet kindly said, “No, thank you.” WHAT A MOMENT THAT WAS! No one was more surprised than me, when those words popped out of my mouth. “No, thank you”???? What did this even mean? I had to think about it: the homeless person asked me for money, and I said, “No, thank you,” … meaning they were offering me a service, and I was refusing it because I didn’t need it at this time. I had reached a new level of faith, equality, and guiltlessness.

What freedom to feel so INNOCENT. How liberating to now know that the homeless person had a higher power and an Inner Teacher, just as I did, just as everyOne did. I didn’t have to play God anymore. I didn’t have to save the world, one person at a time. I just needed to Love and Be Loved.

My first encounters with the homeless had been fearful and guilty. As I practiced seeing the face of Christ in all my brothers (which I first learned from yoga teachers), I opened up to an empowering humility. The more I approached people on the streets of New York who needed a smile, a buck, and to be treated like an equal, with an open heart and the Holy Spirit at my back, what a healing we both received!

From then on, I embraced Service at a new level. My crown chakra opened, Grace flowed through the vessel I call my body, and Loving Light left a trail of sparkles on the streets of NYC for all to be sparked by, whenever they were ready.

Rarely have I uttered sweeter words than, “No, thank you!” They were my proclamation of Innocence and Liberation. And they freed us all!

by admin in Spiritual Psychotherapy, Thoughts on A Course in Miracles, Undoing the Ego, Unlearning Classroom

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Undoing the Ego

How I Rose with Dignity, After Falling on My Face

Developing Great Listening Skills

It’s Easter–Time to Wake Up!

Five Steps to Cultivating Your Relationship with the Holy Spirit

The Parental Disapproval Syndrome

Healing Sexual Abuse through A Course in Miracles

Inexplicably Predictably Happy

God’s Vision or the Ego’s Eyesight?

A Course in Miracles and Yoga

How the Homeless Made Me Feel at Home

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